Thoughts on biological families...

As my children are growing, they are becoming more aware of their reality. They are adopted. They have other people out there that are related to them biologically. Because my family is so diverse, they all have very different stories. I am honest with my children, and try and give them information as they ask or as situations arise. I take into consideration their age, and I try to explain it age-appropriately.

We don't live in hugely populated area. Four of my adopted children who were adopted from foster care have bio parents that live right here. Close. Very, very close. We all basically live in the same little city. I have seen them when I have been out and about. I have not run into them when I have had the kids with me yet, but I am sure that day is coming. One of my adopted daughters has a biological mom, grandma and great grandma that all live only a few minutes from where we live. I have a semi-open adoption with the mom, however, she always wants her mom and grandma to be a part of it, and for the first visit after our adoption, I did allow them to come, as long as they went by my rules. They send gifts, they are in love with my daughter, and just weren't able to get their lives together enough to take care of her. I do have a place in my heart for this biological mom. She has had a very difficult, hard life, and addictions have taken the place of being able to parent. I have to walk a fine line while trying to keep my daughter informed, and in touch with her biological mother, and while also trying to maintain a healthy relationship between the two with boundaries. I still pray for her. I know that when the Lord brought my daughter into my life, He also gave me a burden for her biological mother. And so I pray, and we pray together for her.

My sweet little spirit from China has another very different story. China is a complicated place when it comes to children, babies, the one child policy, etc. I have told my Chinese daughter that we may not ever know who her tummy mommy is. She is still so young. She is happy that Jesus brought her and I together but also wishes she could see her biological mother one day. I can't tell her for sure that it won't ever happen, but it will be a miracle if it ever did. So many people still think that mother's give birth in china in private, then abandon their babies out in plain sight where they will be easily found, because they can't keep them due to the one child policy. The fact is, there are many, many other reasons why and how a child in China might be abandoned. The culture is very different there. Many married couples live with the husbands' parents. They make the call. Sometimes it is the grandparents that take the babies and abandon them, while the mother grieves. Sometimes it is a single mother that must abandon the baby since you must be married and apply to have a baby in China. If not, your child will not have an identity or be accepted. Other times it is the one child policy that drives the abandonment. There is no way to know in any situation when a Chinese baby is found without a note or any clues who's baby this was or where it came from. Awhile back I had an assessment done to find out if there were any leads on where our daughter could be from or if there were any clues to who left her. Based on the findings, and the location of where she was found, it was determined that it would be almost 100% impossible to know. I will have to break this info to her as she gets older and understands more about her birth country. There still could be clues in an orphanage file somewhere that has not yet been disclosed. Also, if it is God's will, I know that He can do anything and reveal her biological parents to us one day. Anything is possible, but from what I understand at this point in time, not very much is probable. This is one reason why I think going on a heritage tour is so important with a child adopted from china. They will gain a much greater understanding when they are there, and they will see many other children who have similar stories.

I don't know all the answers. I can't say I am doing it right all the time. All of their stories are so different. I don't know how they will feel when one has contact with a biological parent and another does not. That is a more difficult aspect when there are multiple adopted children in one family. I will continue to pray for wisdom and guidance as time goes on.

I will always reassure them that they are right where God, their heavenly father who loves them so much wants them to be. When I do, I see smiles and faces that look content and happy. With that,  I am at peace, and I know I am right where I am supposed to be too, loving these precious kiddos the Lord has so graciously and generously given to me.

Come and see my little lambs!!!

Update! My blog sidebar is finally updated with my six little children, my little lambs, my blessings! Our adoptions all finalize next month. Whoo hoo! When I reflect on the beautiful children I have been given after opening my heart and home to international adoption, as well as the foster care system here in the USA, I am amazed at how lucky I really am. Every single one of these children have qualities I adore, and every single one of them are so precious. I am so blessed to be called mommy by all of them. My heart is full.

Part three!!!

SO very sorry to leave you all wondering what happened...so I will get right to it. I called bio mom, and she answered. I explained who I was, and she was very surprised. I explained that we are willing to offer yearly visits to them for both children. She stated, "Wow". I think it was much more than she expected. I feel at peace with this decision. She said she would be dropping her appeal as soon as possible. She is trying to get her boyfriend, the bio father to do the same, but based on his history, it will be a miracle if he drops it. He isn't the one dying to see his children. We really want to adopt these two together, so that it will be a special day for both of them, and I have always felt that way. If he doesn't drop his appeal on our fd, he may appeal all the way up the courts, which can take two years, and I really don't want bio mom to have to wait that long. The next step is for the dept. to call a meeting with all 4 of us "parents". We want to present our offer to them both, and the dept. will explain in person again why he needs to drop his appeal so we can get the adoptions finalized and they can have a visit. We are all hoping for a positive outcome, but have no idea how this dad will respond because he usually responds very negatively to anything that has to do with dshs, or the courts. Generally, he is not a happy camper.

And....now for the question we have all been waiting for. How did they find out who we were??? I did ask her over the phone, and I was praying I would get a straight answer. She was silent for a moment, so I was thinking that maybe she was trying to come up with some story, but she told the truth. She got our names and address off of a prescription diaper rash cream that was in the diaper bag and sent on one of the visits!! I know this is true because last Sept. when we went to Disneyland another foster mom watched her for us. She came down with an odd rash the day we were leaving. The foster parent took her in to see the Dr. for it the next day. She was prescribed a medicated cream, and unfortunately the foster parent then sent if off on her visit the next day. Now there is always a chance that we sent it in the bag accidentally the next week when we were back, but I am usually very careful about those things and rip off any identifying information before placing it in the diaper bags that are sent on visits with bios. So, anything can happen! You just never know, and I think if biological parents want the information bad enough, they will get it. It's not something that scares me from fostering, as I know God has all of this in His hands, and maybe, just maybe this all happened for a reason, and He is working His good out of it all. We can't predict the future, but we can pray that the outcome will be positive, and over time, having contact with these parents might just be what was supposed to happen anyway.  God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His plans are not our plans. Only time will tell as this story continues to unfold.

Continued.....!!!!!!

So, I left everyone hangin after we found the letter in our mail box from bio mom of our little sibling set....
Since that event took us both totally off guard, we realized we needed to make a plan of action. This plan would not be popular with the dept., but it was a plan we came to after much thought, and prayer.
I called a meeting with the dept. I asked how our info. could have gotten out to them. Noone had a clue. We had no clue. Our CASA/GAL has moved away, so I wasn't sure if she could have given it out, but didn't think so. At the meeting I shared our plan. Our fs has been legally free since infancy when his parents relinquished him to his aunt for adoption, which didn't work out because he actually was given back to his bio parents by her (the dept. didn't know this until we got him). His sister has been with us since birth and these parents just lost their rights in Feb. of this year. So, both of them are legally free. We wanted to adopt them together, and have been waiting to do this, but both parents have appealed the termination of their rights on our fd. We had a lot to consider. Do we just go ahead and adopt him, and wait out the two years for his sisters adoption? Since fs was with the bio parents for 3 years, mom is very attached, and it has been very difficult for her these past 9 months. Do we offer visitations to parents who have been so deceitful with the system? What's in the best interest of these two precious children we have in our home who call us mommy and daddy? The dept. felt these parents do not deserve visits after we adopt them, due to the fact that, number one, they lost their rights. Number two, they did nothing to work their plan to get their children back, legally.  Number three, based on their behavior in court, they did not feel these parents would be good for these children. We took their advice, that is, up until the letter landed in our mail box. I know this mom is hurting. She loved her son, but chose to do things the wrong way. Her choices have landed her where she would never have the chance to see either of them again. For some reason she was unable to do what was necessary to get her children back. The letter was her last desperate attempt to reach out and find a way to see him, even if, it was just once more (in her words).

I have read some studies that talk about adopteess and birth parents. I know that in many cases the outcome is much better if the adoptee just has some info and just knows something about who their birth  parents were, no matter who they are and how they live. They just need to know. Two of my adult friends also believe knowing who their birth parents were as a child would have been a very positive thing for them growing up.  We considered this. It made sense. The dept. could only offer to help us get a restraining order. Well, that didn't make sense to me at this point. These parents aren't threatening us. It's just a mom that has made some poor choices who desperately misses her son. I know this for sure.

So, back to the meeting with the dept. I shared that the game plan has now changed. We could no longer follow their recommendation. These parents know who we are and exactly where we live. We don't want to always be wondering if they are driving by, stalking the house, or looking for the kids. We also think that in the long run, it really will be in the best interest for them to know who their birth parents are. So, we decided to offer a once a year visit, that will be written up by our attorney on a legal document. The dept. agreed that our decision will be okay. The next step was for me to call bio mom on the phone number she provided in the letter. I was to explain to her what we had decided to offer, but the deal is that in order for her to get a visit, we have to get both of their adoptions finalized and we can only do this if they both drop their appeals. I was also going to ask her straight out how she got our names and address.  I put it off, but finally picked up the phone and called her the other day...and she answered................to be continued.

There is no anonymity

Sure, you may have been told you would be anonymous when you took a foster child into your home. You may have been told that foster parents names are never given out, or that the dept. takes great strides in protecting your privacy. That's what we were told, and for the most part, believed.

Let's look at our society, and social media. Technology seems to advance at a great speed on a daily basis. Soon we will be walking into stores where our faces will be recognized electronically, and personalized ads will be sent directly to our phones. It is not difficult to find information on line and in many other places. In foster care, you are not only caring for children, but you are attending court hearings, and getting legal papers with all kinds of information. Some of the paperwork I have gotten will have blacked out areas, but the next week I might recieve the same document with the same information that is not blacked out. We attend meetings where the facilitaor may "forget" and blurt out your name in front of people who aren't supposed to know. Then, if the bio parents, are persistent, they may even follow one of the transporters back to your home, while everyone is completely oblivious as to what is going on. There is even a law in my state where bio parents that have their children in foster care can go to DSHS and ask to find out the location of where their children reside. Ridiculous, if you ask me. But, my point is this...and I believe this should be covered in the 30 hrs. of foster parent training that is required for licensing...just assume you will not remain anonymous. We now know it is almost impossible to remain anonymous. We thought we were completely anonymous to the bio parents of our sibling set, our now 2 yr. old daughter and 4 yr. old son that we are in the process of adopting...that is until 2 weeks ago, when I walked out and checked my mailbox and found a handwritten letter to us from their biological mother....to be continued...

Foster care update...

A quick update! Fostering children can be a complicated ordeal, but one that is well worth it!  We have a lot going on with our little ones right now. Laney and her brother are both legally free now, however, we are in a holding pattern at the moment, while the bio father appeals, and our attorney works through some new law that was recently implemented. So, we wait to finalize their adoption, and I am hoping it happens sometime in the next few months!

Baby Riah has been with us 9 months already! He is by far, the most difficult,  challenging baby I have ever dealt with. It's sad that his little nervous system is disregulated so much, and I wish there was more I could do to help him! I was asked to attend a court hearing last week. The GAL was asking to move him to some nearby relatives where his older brother resides. We really thought the judge would be in agreement, but in the end, he ruled to keep him here in our care. I left it all to the Lord and although I don't understand the outcome, there must be a greater reason. His case will remain up in the air and the GAL may try to move him there again in a couple months, so back to court we will go! I will continue to pray and trust the Lord has this all worked out.  In the meantime, we will continue working with Riah to develop improved trust, and decreased frustration. He is learning to walk! It's only wed. and I have already been to an emergency dental appt. with him, and an emergency ER visit with him this week! Learning to walk can be a dangerous thing! The ER visit was due to him coming into contact with peanut butter, something he is highly allergic to. He is just fine now...and it is nice being home and not in a waiting room tonight!

I continue to wish there were two of me. The need seems to become greater and greater, and although I have a strong desire to foster more children, my hands are full, so I will continue to get the word out there, and hope more foster parents will sign up! A little one waits, scared and alone tonight for a warm bed, and a safe home. Could yours be one?

God works in amazing ways!

So I am not up to par with this blogging thing these days. The truth is, life is exhausting right now. Life is full, and at times quite overwhelming. I have taken some time after the kids are in bed these past few days to do some blog reading, which is something I do miss. Only God could have directed the keystrokes the way He did today. I came across a blog that I may have only read once before. A woman with a heart for adoption and caring for orphans. A woman who has 7 children, and  her post stood out, as she was honest about how hard this parenting thing really is. Parenting a large number of children is nothing short of difficult, straining, and draining at times. She has beautiful children she has adopted, and yet, she was only surviving her days lately. I can relate. Then she said it. Warfare. Yes, it is what I knew all along. This can feel like a daily battle at times because the enemy wants to win. He didn't want these children to find loving homes. He would rather see them alone, neglected, and sometimes abused and dying in their orphanages. He would rather see U.S foster kids left in drug houses, not being taken care of, and abused as well. Yes, there is no doubt in my mind that spiritual attacks come in this form. He wants to take us down, those parents willing to step out for the cause of the orphan. I have something to say in response to this: The battle belongs to the Lord, and He is mightier than any attack that can come our way. 


I also took the time to read the blog of the couple I know who started a ministry to the homeless in my town. As I continued to read, the tears would not stop. These people have stepped out in faith every single sunday for the past 10 months to care for homeless in ways that would blow your mind. They go to an area where they are, and the people come,  and every week, their crowd gets bigger, and they bring food and items that are donated by random people, and they believe, in faith that they will have what is needed. They minister to them with prayer, Bibles, friendship,...and most of all, love. They have seen miracle after miracle. As I read this, it occured to me once more, that right here in my home, I am doing the same thing for the orphan, except it's not every sunday, it's every day, and that is what can make this ministry daunting. It takes the strength of the Lord to get through each day sometimes, just like these people who minister to the homeless. They go and rely on God's spirit and strength to minister to these people and to meet their physical and spiritual needs. And as I left that blog, I somehow (it had to be the hand of God), came across the next blog which I had never seen. It was another family interested in orphans and adoption. The thing that jumped out at me was this...We are on a mission...to love the orphan. It made me realize again, and I think that it was the Lord gently reminding me that I am a missionary in my own home, and that I am doing this for Him, and His glory. I am doing this for His kingdom, and for His children. I am caring for His children in my home, to raise them up to be strong christians who will go out into this world one day to also do the work to advance His kingdom. It is a humbling thing to realize, and also to realize how much I am failing, and how much I need Him. I cannot do this without daily help from the Lord. No way. And then I thank the Lord for this reality in my life...because doing the hard thing has made me seek Him more. 


And that's not all...the next blog that I ended up clicking on was this one. And after reading that, I realized that this difficult job is also full of blessings, and that I am not alone. The rewards are great, and seeing how God is moving in all of these families, who have embraced the orphan....the children of God, is awe inspiring, and then I look at my life, and I realize that even  while I trip over the mountain of laundry in the basement, and gain my composure again after two of my littles were screaming non-stop at the same time, and I mop the kitchen floor for the third time today...I thank God for these precious children, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

It happened...

What is a large family? Four kids, five, six? I have heard what a lot of larger than average families have gone through over time, and the types of comments they have gotten, but so far we haven't experienced much of that. (probably because I haven't been brave enough to take my brood out on my own all that often). Today, for the second time, since having six children, (who are now 1,2,3,4,5, and 10 by the way), I took them out on my own ,and I got the comment I have heard about other families of 4 or more children saying they have dealt with. I found it quite humorous, actually. Since it was a semi emergency, I packed all six of them into the Suburban this morning to take my oldest to the doctor's office. It was a same day emergency appt, so we did not have our usual pediatrician today. Instead, it was an unsuspecting physician's assistant, who, upon entering our room, was quickly taken aback. He stopped in his tracks before the door even shut behind him. He quickly glanced around at the 12 little eyes staring up at him, and then finally found me in the group, reached out his hand to introduced himself, then asked, "Daycare??". To which I replied, "Nope, they're all mine". I wasn't sure what his response would be, but this man was pleasantly surprised. He wanted to know all about them, so I shared our story. He was so curious that I think he forgot why we were there, and my oldest daughters semi-medical emergency. It turned out that we were in the right place at the right time. He had been interested in foster care, but had not taken that next step. He wanted to know how to make that next step. He was definately talking to the right person, because I told him how serious the need is in this county for foster and adoptive homes.  He wondered where to go, who to talk to, and how to acquire such adorable children like mine, I am sure. He wanted to know the difference between straight foster care and foster-adopt, how many bedrooms you need, and if they need medical insurance, and I was thrilled to fill him in on all of it.  When he was done examining my oldest, he quickly switched back to the topic of foster care, and foster adoption. This made my day..and I think I just might need to be a little more brave, and get my kids out there more, instead of waiting until my husband is home, so he can watch some of them so that I don't have to take them all at once. It's really not bad, in fact, every time we have taken them all out, it never fails that someone actually approaches me to tell me how well behaved they are, or how cute they are. Some ask questions, but most people are so encouraging and just want to say something positive. I hope my sweet little group today have made an impression on this man, and that soon, another little child will have a loving home to call their own.

How sad...foster care update!

It's going to be awhile until the adoption is finalized for Laney and her brother,  A. I think the bio mom is still in shock. She had an open adoption agreement with her sister, who was supposed to be working on adopting him, but never did. She let her sister (the bio mom) have him unsupervised all the time. This is why cps removed him after almost 4 years when they were tipped off. He was only attached to bio mom, not the aunt he was supposedly with. Her rights were terminated back when she relinquished him to her sister at birth.

Here's what's sad. She is calling the SW all the time now. She stated that she wants to see the kids because she has an open adoption agreement. No. That one was only between her and the sister. It's terminated now. When the TPR trial happened in Feb. they lost. They did not relinquish. Her and the bio dad never did one service requested of them for 2 full years, and now she thinks she has rights to the kids. She hasn't acted this desperate the entire time, until she no longer has rights. She has lost 2 other children, and she still doesn't get it. It's a little too late. She is even asking now if we will let her see the kids. This was all supposed to be figured out before the trial.

So, I do think this is sad. I do think she loves these kids. I just don't think she gets it, and she didn't show any motivation to do what was needed before her rights were terminated. I am not sure what we will do next.

Update...

A quick update...
The SW is stopping by to pop her head in the door, as we are all still sick here, and have been for weeks. She said that the father has not yet appealed the termination of parental rights, which they were all expecting to happen right after the trial. That is good news. I should find out more after her visit today.

Baby Riah has been sick too, along with all of us, and that makes him a very unhappy little guy. Right now he is napping, which is where he loves to be when not feeling well. The update on him is that his bio father, who is in his mid 50's, has decided that he wants some distant cousin from another state to have him, so they are obligated to do a homestudy on her. The SW doesn't think this will pass, so we will wait and see. She also does not feel it is in his best interst to move there. On some amazing news...he is crawling, and not backwards, on top of his head. I have been working with him daily, and he finally figured it out!!! So happy to see him meeting some of his developmental milestones, although late, he is meeting them!

Back to tending to my little ones...I had dreaded the day that all six of them would get sick at once, and unfortunately I got sick too! Thank God for friends who brought meals and all those praying for us. This too shall pass! More soon...

Sweet baby boy....

Your name means "God is my light" and my prayer for you is that you know this truth to the fullest during your whole lifetime! You are precious in my sight and in God's eyes too. 


The first few months of your life have not been easy. It is not your fault, little one. You are a living miracle. It is not an accident that you are here. 


You have gradually changed over the short time you have been here. You are moving more now, and although your little muscles won't allow you to move the way you need to, you manage to find a way. 


You are smiling and giggling now...no more screaming fits all day long. This mama is SO happy! 


May God continue to guide us and shine his light before us on this journey, little one! 

Foster care update!

It's been awhile since I've done an update! I guess after our adoption finalized with Lexi, I've just been so relieved and thankful, that thinking about the other cases I have just didn't cross my mind.

Let's start with baby Riah! He's been home two months and is 7 mos. old now! At his last hearing they postponed it for 2 weeks, so I will be attending that in the next week. At that hearing the plan is to change his case to adoption, which is what they have said all along, they just need to get into court, and get it officially changed with the judge. His court appointed guardian stopped by last week, and said that he,  in fact, was NOT going to be recommending the relative placement that wants him. They have this little ones older brother, and he is not sure how, since they cannot pass a background check. The SW also states that they will not ever recommend that relative placement. So, as of now, the recommendation is for him to stay with us. Baby Riah is a very intense baby. He is super anxious in his attachment to me, which means he can be very calm in a room but if I walk in he immediately starts whining and his entire body becomes anxious. I am attempting to "wear" him as much as I can to help him feel more secure. He is happy and content in my arms. He also has a lot of high muscle tone, which I am working with and he will most likely be going in for a physical therapy evaluation in the near future. Due to his anxiousness-screaming when being put down, he is not working through his developmental milestones very well! We will continue to work on this!

Laney's bio parents have a termination of parental rights trial coming up next week. At that time she will become legally free. Due to the fact that the father fights all the way, he will most likely appeal, but with nothing to base it on, it shouldn't drag things out too much further. As soon as we have the word, we will begin the adoption process with her and her brother. And that's it! It seems like we are finally winding down on her case, which will be a relief!

On one other note, we went to the first visit for Lexi's open adoption agreement yesterday.. The written agreement states that she gets one visit a year. She wrote us a letter back saying she is dying to see her, and name the place and time and she would be there. She did not show up. So, our little pumpkin had a fun afternoon out with just mommy and daddy! :) It will be interesting to see if she contacts us with any type of excuse. We will probably give her another chance, but not for awhile.

Countdown to Christmas...photo 4!!!

What a surprise we got right before Christmas this year---a son!! Amazing. What a gift God has given. He has such a sweet spirit, and is a wonderful little boy. I am amazed and humbled that this situation came our way, and so glad we embraced it. God is so good.

God has given us all the gift of His son this Christmas as well. What a simple message it is. A baby who came to take away the sins of the world. Our sins. So that we may live forever with Him. All we have to do is embrace the gift. And, what an amazing gift it is!

Reality

Reality has hit...I am now parenting SIX kids...and five of them are age 5 and under. I currently have a 10 yr. old, 5 yr. old, 3 yr. old, 2 yr. old. 21 mo. old, and 6 mo. old. Insane? Maybe. Blessed? Definately.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured myself with this many kids, or for that matter, this many children so close in age. Only God could have designed this scenario, this family, this life.

Stay tuned for an update...

Announcement!!!

Today was such an amazing day! We finalized our adoption with 9 other families at juvenile court for National adoption day...we are so glad we chose to foster, what a blessing it has been and we are so happy to call her our daughter!!! We give God all the thanks and glory!

The day is almost here...

One less road to travel, one last way to go, one more day to forever
Just to let you know-the wait is finally over, the journey now is through-
And now this comes to let you know
Dreams really do come true!
Tomorrow, Nov. 21st, we officially adopt our sweet girl, Lexi Joy! Taking that leap of faith and taking her in as our first foster child when she was 7 weeks old in July of 2009 was one of the best things we've ever done! We are so blessed to call her our daughter.

Lots of BIG news!!!

Wow! Things have been crazy busy in a very GOOD way around here! First of all...our newest little one, baby R, has finally settled in. After dealing with some tummy troubles, and some skin issues, he is finally on the mend, and doing better each day. A couple days ago I got a call from his SW. She stated that she had some VERY good news. She had just found out that he is not from the local ____ tribe, the one that is extremely strict and does not allow adoptions outside of the tribe. She found out that his father is actually from ____ ________ _______ tribe, which is from another state, and he is not even elligible for enrollment. So, this means that this hurdle is out of the way. We continue to enjoy him, and things are moving forward with another court hearing coming up in Dec.

In just two days, our precious Lexi will be officially adopted! We are so excited, and can't wait to celebrate!


Some of you might remember
Thispost
and Thispost back in July.

We recieved another surprising phone call the week before last that they really are removing Laney's older brother. After 5 mos, we had thought they must be leaving him in the relative placement. Not so. The relative continues to refrain from doing anything the dept. asks of her, so after over 3 years, they have decided he will be moved from her care, as it is evident she never intended to adopt him in the first place. The court hearing to remove him is the same day as Lexi's adoption. So, in just two days, we will be celebrating with our little Lexi, and also waiting for a call that may be bringing Laney's brother home to us.

Foster care is such a crazy ride sometimes, but we have been so blessed with supportive friends, and family, and always seeking God's will along the way. Stay tuned!

The date is set!

To celebrate National adoption day, families in our area who's adoption falls in Novemeber are given the option to finalize in the courts on this day. Since it falls on a Sat. all of us will be finalizing our adoption on NOVEMBER 21st 2011! We had the option of finalizing the week before, but it would have been just us, and the National adoption day for finalization is a big celebration with a party, etc. There will be around 9 other families finalizing their adoptions that day as well. We thought that was perfect, because finalizing our adoption of this precious one is nothing short of a celebration and a miracle!!! We cannot wait!!!

He's here!!!

Yes, our 3rd. foster baby is now here. He arrived monday afternoon. After lots of prayer and discussion, it just felt right to take him. I don't really know much about his case yet. They are saying he may be fast tracked for adoption, however, he also has some native american blood that could put a halt to all of that. Only time will tell, as this case sorts itself out.

As of now, we are just enjoying him. He is a gorgeous baby. So cute, pudgy, plump, with big sparkly brown eyes and a curly cue on top of his head. He smiles and gigggles and will be 5 months old in a few days. What a blessing!

Another call...

Lord,
You are a great and mighty God! I am so blessed with a house full of smiles and giggles and silliness every single day. You have given me so much...and I know that much is required of me. God, it is hard. I know you never said it would be easy. So, I pray, and I lean on you, Lord, for guidance and strength, but sadly, not always enough. You have taught me so much through my children, God. Thank you for them. Fostering has been such a hands on real way to show your love directly to these children you have entrusted to me. Only, I fail often. I strive to be more and more like you every day...and I am humbled and on my knees asking for more of you, so you will flow through me to the little lambs I am attempting to shepherd. This high calling of motherhood is such an amazing gift. I try my best to give it my all...but need your help, as daily tasks can sometimes be overwhelming. I often wonder how I could do it without you. I couldn't. Each of my children have their own special stories, and the more I think about it, the more I realize without a doubt that each one of their little lives is a MIRACLE. From my two oldest being tiny preemies, they are survivors. My youngest two started out lives by being assaulted with drugs and toxins within the womb. Lord, you were right there protecting them all. Thank you Jesus!!

And now, another little one has been brought to our attention. A 5 mo. old baby boy. Father, I know just the other day I found myself saying out loud that I would love a baby boy. Were you preparing me for this call? Or am I stretched too thin already? I never expected a call..as our foster license is full. Only you know the plans you have for this baby and for my family. God I ask that as we take the next couple days to seek your will...that you will make it overwhelmingly clear what it is you would have us do. We wouldn't be able to do this without total reliance on you. I pray this little life will be set permanantly in the family you have chosen for him soon...whether it's ours or another. I pray, if it is us...we would be able to quickly open our hearts and home. If it is not, I pray the door would close and he would safely settle into his new loving home and family. We leave it all up to you!

Amen.

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families." - Psalm 68:5-6