It is sad...

I remember four years ago, when the election was coming up, and I would come across a blog here and there where the author of the blog was a professing christian. I had not ever been very politically minded, but as I began to get older, and (hopefully) wiser, I began to realize that becoming politically minded was not really a choice, but more of a matter of duty, and making the best decision based upon my stance as a christian.  So, I began to listen, read, study, and learn so that I would make better decisions as a christian when it came to voting on issues and leaders. To my amazement, I would notice that these professing christians were voting for our current president. My first reaction was that of surprise. I just didn't get it. As a christian, how do we vote "FOR" a leader who is against so many things that christianity is about. Then I realized they were compromising those matters of morality, for matters that they felt would effect them more prosperously, either materially or financially. I was saddened by that. In fact, in my mind it appears that they trusted in men over God. Wow. Wrapping my brain around that one was hard to swallow, and then when our citizens of America voted him into office I felt my heart sink. Have we lost our way? Have we lost sight of what is right, as christians? And then our president renounced us as a christian nation, and sadly, at one point I realized that this also, seems very true, because if we, people that state that we are followers of Christ, the living God, can vote someone into office that is strongly against those things that God is strongly for...how can we truly call ourselves a christian nation?  To me, it's simple.  I scratch my head at those christians who try and justify why they should vote this way. I have heard their reasons, their justifications, and let them speak their minds. I am still not moved. I am not convinced in any way. I have realized that as a christian we have to be radically transformed by the renewing of our minds every day. In no way can we just sit back and be lukewarm, as the word of God will tell us. We need to take a stand as christians, do the right thing. I pray that this year many people will be delivered out of darkness on this issue. I also pray that christians will seek Him, and seek His ways and not their own. I pray they would soften their hearts to hear God's truth.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Our family!

 

 

 

I desperately need to update this blog, and get focused on using it for it's intended purpose, but in the meantime, here is a picture of us we had done this summer! We were blessed to have a professional photographer come and take some shots for free...as she takes part in red thread sessions adoptive family photo shoots. She was so sweet, the kids loved her, and we had a fun afternoon. A friend of mine also had a photo shoot done the same day by Jessica. She is also a mother and foster parent. They recently adopted their first foster placement. Her photos turned out amazing!

To give a quick update, I think we are going to go ahead with our 4 yr. old foster sons adoption, since he is legally free and has been since we got him last Nov. He is the sweetest little boy I have ever known, and feel so blessed to be his mama! We are disappointed that we cannot adopt him and his little sister together, but we will have to wait it out for up to two years while her  bio dad continues his appeal. Regarding little baby Riah, it is very complicated. I made a bit of a bold move and asked the GAL if he would consider looking into the relatives that the state did not want to place him with. He talked to them again, and also agrees that it would be a wonderful placement, because, after all, his 5 yr. old brother resides there. He is now getting visits with his brother and these relatives 3 times a week, in preparation for a transition there, if the judge will okay this in the near future. I will miss the little guy, but after praying about it, felt peace that this should be explored. Waiting to see what the outcome will be...

Update...not good...

The meeting took place on Wednesday. It was not good. Nothing good came out of it, and I had a feeling about it that morning. Ugh. It was so hard to see the bio mom in so much pain, and the bio father so full of pride he couldn't hear a thing. Since we have no plan B, we are not sure what to do next.....

A meeting!

On Wednesday we meet the bio parents of our foster sibling set. I have seen them once in court, but they didn't know who I was. The Dept. has set up the meeting quickly, and I am pleased. We will at least know how the bio father will respond. If he listens and hears what we want to offer, he should hear the benefits in this plan. After all, they have already lost their rights at the termination trial, we do not have to offer them anything, but feel this is now the best for everyone. I just hope he sees that and doesn't let his pride stand in the way. I don't have a plan B, so I hope he has some openness, and sees how much this will benefit everyone in the long run. We will find out soon...stay tuned!

Random Deep Thoughts

I don't know about you, but long car trips by myself in the car cause me to think deep thoughts...and I am often inspired to blog about them. Today I spent a total of 3 hours in the car alone, driving in the beautiful mountains of Washington state, near Mt. Rainer. I found myself gazing at God's amazing beauty all around me, admiring campgrounds, and the lush green forests, rivers, and lakes that were everywhere. As I was driving back, I was listening to a CD I picked up along the way of Native flute music. It was mesmerizing. I guess I was in a trance like state on the drive home because I was reflecting upon my life, amidst the beauty of God's creation. Only, my thoughts were not that of how wonderful my life has been, but how in my early years I experienced some near death situations. There have been so many close calls that could have taken me off this earth, however, I am still here and in one peice. As the flute was playing and I was high in the mountains, facing one of my biggest fears--the cliff next to me, I remembered back to when I was around 10 years old. That was the day I think I faced my impending mortality for the first time. I was at a party at a lake with a bunch of people my parents always hung out with, and I was not raised in a christian home, so this was a party where there was much alcohol, and most of the adults were drunk. I was playing with a childhood friend, who's older brother decided to run up and grab me and throw me off of a dock into the lake. I couldn't swim yet, and remember going under, over and over again, popping up once in awhile hoping someone would save me, and finally my friend saw the look of pure fear on my face, and jumped in and pulled me to safety. Obviously, I have not forgotten that incident. Another time, I was with my dad at an event and I grabbed a lamp post that had a short in it. I was stuck to it, and literally being electrecuted as I stood there, unable to let go. A man stood up from his seat and knocked my arm off of the post, and I was okay. To this day, I think that guy was my guardian angel. I lived. Another time I was canoeing in the Puget Sound with a group of kids, and a big storm came up. The waves were so big and they were filling our canoes. A canadian boat rescued us.  I've been in a car accident, a motorcycle accident, I've been lost in the woods. And yet, here I am today, all in one peice as if none of those things have happened. God is so good, and so faithful, and I look back at my life sometimes and can't believe all that I went through as a kid, and wonder how I made it. I think all those situations have shaped me into who I am today. I'm a pretty serious person. I am super careful with my own kids, and want to protect them with all I have in me.
I often think of the American dream. I am so glad I am here in this country that is so blessed. I am not here to gain all the riches I can, and to build a big house, and a big bank account. I have been able to travel to far away lands and adopt children, which has been amazing. I have been able to share my home with foster children who need families, and adopt even more. I am so blessed. I am so glad God spared my life through all those situations and accidents that I encountered growing up. I hope to do so much more in this life, and can't wait to see what more the Lord can use me for.

Part three!!!

SO very sorry to leave you all wondering what happened...so I will get right to it. I called bio mom, and she answered. I explained who I was, and she was very surprised. I explained that we are willing to offer yearly visits to them for both children. She stated, "Wow". I think it was much more than she expected. I feel at peace with this decision. She said she would be dropping her appeal as soon as possible. She is trying to get her boyfriend, the bio father to do the same, but based on his history, it will be a miracle if he drops it. He isn't the one dying to see his children. We really want to adopt these two together, so that it will be a special day for both of them, and I have always felt that way. If he doesn't drop his appeal on our fd, he may appeal all the way up the courts, which can take two years, and I really don't want bio mom to have to wait that long. The next step is for the dept. to call a meeting with all 4 of us "parents". We want to present our offer to them both, and the dept. will explain in person again why he needs to drop his appeal so we can get the adoptions finalized and they can have a visit. We are all hoping for a positive outcome, but have no idea how this dad will respond because he usually responds very negatively to anything that has to do with dshs, or the courts. Generally, he is not a happy camper.

And....now for the question we have all been waiting for. How did they find out who we were??? I did ask her over the phone, and I was praying I would get a straight answer. She was silent for a moment, so I was thinking that maybe she was trying to come up with some story, but she told the truth. She got our names and address off of a prescription diaper rash cream that was in the diaper bag and sent on one of the visits!! I know this is true because last Sept. when we went to Disneyland another foster mom watched her for us. She came down with an odd rash the day we were leaving. The foster parent took her in to see the Dr. for it the next day. She was prescribed a medicated cream, and unfortunately the foster parent then sent if off on her visit the next day. Now there is always a chance that we sent it in the bag accidentally the next week when we were back, but I am usually very careful about those things and rip off any identifying information before placing it in the diaper bags that are sent on visits with bios. So, anything can happen! You just never know, and I think if biological parents want the information bad enough, they will get it. It's not something that scares me from fostering, as I know God has all of this in His hands, and maybe, just maybe this all happened for a reason, and He is working His good out of it all. We can't predict the future, but we can pray that the outcome will be positive, and over time, having contact with these parents might just be what was supposed to happen anyway.  God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His plans are not our plans. Only time will tell as this story continues to unfold.

Continued.....!!!!!!

So, I left everyone hangin after we found the letter in our mail box from bio mom of our little sibling set....
Since that event took us both totally off guard, we realized we needed to make a plan of action. This plan would not be popular with the dept., but it was a plan we came to after much thought, and prayer.
I called a meeting with the dept. I asked how our info. could have gotten out to them. Noone had a clue. We had no clue. Our CASA/GAL has moved away, so I wasn't sure if she could have given it out, but didn't think so. At the meeting I shared our plan. Our fs has been legally free since infancy when his parents relinquished him to his aunt for adoption, which didn't work out because he actually was given back to his bio parents by her (the dept. didn't know this until we got him). His sister has been with us since birth and these parents just lost their rights in Feb. of this year. So, both of them are legally free. We wanted to adopt them together, and have been waiting to do this, but both parents have appealed the termination of their rights on our fd. We had a lot to consider. Do we just go ahead and adopt him, and wait out the two years for his sisters adoption? Since fs was with the bio parents for 3 years, mom is very attached, and it has been very difficult for her these past 9 months. Do we offer visitations to parents who have been so deceitful with the system? What's in the best interest of these two precious children we have in our home who call us mommy and daddy? The dept. felt these parents do not deserve visits after we adopt them, due to the fact that, number one, they lost their rights. Number two, they did nothing to work their plan to get their children back, legally.  Number three, based on their behavior in court, they did not feel these parents would be good for these children. We took their advice, that is, up until the letter landed in our mail box. I know this mom is hurting. She loved her son, but chose to do things the wrong way. Her choices have landed her where she would never have the chance to see either of them again. For some reason she was unable to do what was necessary to get her children back. The letter was her last desperate attempt to reach out and find a way to see him, even if, it was just once more (in her words).

I have read some studies that talk about adopteess and birth parents. I know that in many cases the outcome is much better if the adoptee just has some info and just knows something about who their birth  parents were, no matter who they are and how they live. They just need to know. Two of my adult friends also believe knowing who their birth parents were as a child would have been a very positive thing for them growing up.  We considered this. It made sense. The dept. could only offer to help us get a restraining order. Well, that didn't make sense to me at this point. These parents aren't threatening us. It's just a mom that has made some poor choices who desperately misses her son. I know this for sure.

So, back to the meeting with the dept. I shared that the game plan has now changed. We could no longer follow their recommendation. These parents know who we are and exactly where we live. We don't want to always be wondering if they are driving by, stalking the house, or looking for the kids. We also think that in the long run, it really will be in the best interest for them to know who their birth parents are. So, we decided to offer a once a year visit, that will be written up by our attorney on a legal document. The dept. agreed that our decision will be okay. The next step was for me to call bio mom on the phone number she provided in the letter. I was to explain to her what we had decided to offer, but the deal is that in order for her to get a visit, we have to get both of their adoptions finalized and we can only do this if they both drop their appeals. I was also going to ask her straight out how she got our names and address.  I put it off, but finally picked up the phone and called her the other day...and she answered................to be continued.