Wednesday, September 26, 2012


If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you will know I did a post on two very significant dreams I have had in my lifetime. I am talking the kind of dreams you have in your sleep, and wake up knowing you had an encounter with God! I had one when I was 15, and I am sorry, I don't have the time at the moment to find it and link to it here, and then I had another about 7 years ago. Both were so meaningful, spiritual and significant, and came at a time when I needed the comfort and power of God in my life so much, and these dreams were amazing, vivid, and gave me just the comfort and hope I needed at both times in my life. If you have the time, look through my posts, and you may find them!

Well, the other night I had another dream. I can't say for sure that this one was like the other two. I didn't wake up knowing I had that God encounter, but I did wake up thinking, Wow, that was odd, and I did get the meaning of it immediately. It was significant, but not as in depth as my other dreams,  so here it goes:

I was in a barn, a large barn with two floors, somewhat like the barn we have now, but this one was huge, like a working dairy barn filled with cows or something, and there was a lot going on  and I was one of the workers inside this barn. I was running around like a mad chicken with my head cut off. I am not exactly sure what I was doing, but I know how I felt. Out. of. control. I felt completely stressed out, angry, upset, and again, out of control. I was running through the barn, yelling, screaming about the cows, not being able to get everything done. I then realized I wasn't watching my children. Oh no! Where were they? I looked out the windows from the upper level of the barn, much like our barn, I ran from window to window looking for them. I was panicked, and feeling at a loss and so out of control. I was yelling for them with no answer. I ran downstairs, and out of the barn, and started running toward the orchard to look for them, and suddenly they all just came skipping out, happy and content, smiling, and giving me hugs, like they do every day. That's when I woke up.

So, my evaluation of this dream is that I really needed to see it. I think it's a great rendition of how I often feel. Stressed, upset, and out of control, not being able to keep everything orderly, to control the behaviors they have, to get everything done (it all feels monumental, like the feeling you would get if you worked in a huge dairy barn and you were in charge of milking every cow, running the place, and also taking care of your family, homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, on top of it all) and feeling so much responsibility for all of them. Wow. It was hard to see this too. I don't want to look and feel that way. I want to rest in the knowledge that they are all okay, and that I can do my best and at the end of the day it may not all get done, and I may not have been able to control everything, but as long as I just remain calm, they will be fine. I think I often get very overwhlemed, and think that I just can't do it all, so I begin to turn into a mad woman who just needs to relax, and know that it will all be okay. They will all be all right. They will all come walking out of the orchard in peace and happiness. It's me who needs to change and rest in God's will, and just do the best I can.

I never thought my dreams could teach me lessons, but they have, and now that I think about it, I think this one must have been another one from God, and I really needed it. Thanks, Lord. ;)

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

It is sad...

I remember four years ago, when the election was coming up, and I would come across a blog here and there where the author of the blog was a professing christian. I had not ever been very politically minded, but as I began to get older, and (hopefully) wiser, I began to realize that becoming politically minded was not really a choice, but more of a matter of duty, and making the best decision based upon my stance as a christian.  So, I began to listen, read, study, and learn so that I would make better decisions as a christian when it came to voting on issues and leaders. To my amazement, I would notice that these professing christians were voting for our current president. My first reaction was that of surprise. I just didn't get it. As a christian, how do we vote "FOR" a leader who is against so many things that christianity is about. Then I realized they were compromising those matters of morality, for matters that they felt would effect them more prosperously, either materially or financially. I was saddened by that. In fact, in my mind it appears that they trusted in men over God. Wow. Wrapping my brain around that one was hard to swallow, and then when our citizens of America voted him into office I felt my heart sink. Have we lost our way? Have we lost sight of what is right, as christians? And then our president renounced us as a christian nation, and sadly, at one point I realized that this also, seems very true, because if we, people that state that we are followers of Christ, the living God, can vote someone into office that is strongly against those things that God is strongly can we truly call ourselves a christian nation?  To me, it's simple.  I scratch my head at those christians who try and justify why they should vote this way. I have heard their reasons, their justifications, and let them speak their minds. I am still not moved. I am not convinced in any way. I have realized that as a christian we have to be radically transformed by the renewing of our minds every day. In no way can we just sit back and be lukewarm, as the word of God will tell us. We need to take a stand as christians, do the right thing. I pray that this year many people will be delivered out of darkness on this issue. I also pray that christians will seek Him, and seek His ways and not their own. I pray they would soften their hearts to hear God's truth.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Our family!

I desperately need to update this blog, and get focused on using it for it's intended purpose, but in the meantime, here is a picture of us we had done this summer! We were blessed to have a professional photographer come and take some shots for she takes part in red thread sessions adoptive family photo shoots. She was so sweet, the kids loved her, and we had a fun afternoon. A friend of mine also had a photo shoot done the same day by Jessica. She is also a mother and foster parent. They recently adopted their first foster placement. Her photos turned out amazing!

To give a quick update, I think we are going to go ahead with our 4 yr. old foster sons adoption, since he is legally free and has been since we got him last Nov. He is the sweetest little boy I have ever known, and feel so blessed to be his mama! We are disappointed that we cannot adopt him and his little sister together, but we will have to wait it out for up to two years while her  bio dad continues his appeal. Regarding little baby Riah, it is very complicated. I made a bit of a bold move and asked the GAL if he would consider looking into the relatives that the state did not want to place him with. He talked to them again, and also agrees that it would be a wonderful placement, because, after all, his 5 yr. old brother resides there. He is now getting visits with his brother and these relatives 3 times a week, in preparation for a transition there, if the judge will okay this in the near future. I will miss the little guy, but after praying about it, felt peace that this should be explored. Waiting to see what the outcome will be...

Friday, September 7, 2012

Update...not good...

The meeting took place on Wednesday. It was not good. Nothing good came out of it, and I had a feeling about it that morning. Ugh. It was so hard to see the bio mom in so much pain, and the bio father so full of pride he couldn't hear a thing. Since we have no plan B, we are not sure what to do next.....

Monday, September 3, 2012

A meeting!

On Wednesday we meet the bio parents of our foster sibling set. I have seen them once in court, but they didn't know who I was. The Dept. has set up the meeting quickly, and I am pleased. We will at least know how the bio father will respond. If he listens and hears what we want to offer, he should hear the benefits in this plan. After all, they have already lost their rights at the termination trial, we do not have to offer them anything, but feel this is now the best for everyone. I just hope he sees that and doesn't let his pride stand in the way. I don't have a plan B, so I hope he has some openness, and sees how much this will benefit everyone in the long run. We will find out soon...stay tuned!