Thoughts on biological families...

As my children are growing, they are becoming more aware of their reality. They are adopted. They have other people out there that are related to them biologically. Because my family is so diverse, they all have very different stories. I am honest with my children, and try and give them information as they ask or as situations arise. I take into consideration their age, and I try to explain it age-appropriately.

We don't live in hugely populated area. Four of my adopted children who were adopted from foster care have bio parents that live right here. Close. Very, very close. We all basically live in the same little city. I have seen them when I have been out and about. I have not run into them when I have had the kids with me yet, but I am sure that day is coming. One of my adopted daughters has a biological mom, grandma and great grandma that all live only a few minutes from where we live. I have a semi-open adoption with the mom, however, she always wants her mom and grandma to be a part of it, and for the first visit after our adoption, I did allow them to come, as long as they went by my rules. They send gifts, they are in love with my daughter, and just weren't able to get their lives together enough to take care of her. I do have a place in my heart for this biological mom. She has had a very difficult, hard life, and addictions have taken the place of being able to parent. I have to walk a fine line while trying to keep my daughter informed, and in touch with her biological mother, and while also trying to maintain a healthy relationship between the two with boundaries. I still pray for her. I know that when the Lord brought my daughter into my life, He also gave me a burden for her biological mother. And so I pray, and we pray together for her.

My sweet little spirit from China has another very different story. China is a complicated place when it comes to children, babies, the one child policy, etc. I have told my Chinese daughter that we may not ever know who her tummy mommy is. She is still so young. She is happy that Jesus brought her and I together but also wishes she could see her biological mother one day. I can't tell her for sure that it won't ever happen, but it will be a miracle if it ever did. So many people still think that mother's give birth in china in private, then abandon their babies out in plain sight where they will be easily found, because they can't keep them due to the one child policy. The fact is, there are many, many other reasons why and how a child in China might be abandoned. The culture is very different there. Many married couples live with the husbands' parents. They make the call. Sometimes it is the grandparents that take the babies and abandon them, while the mother grieves. Sometimes it is a single mother that must abandon the baby since you must be married and apply to have a baby in China. If not, your child will not have an identity or be accepted. Other times it is the one child policy that drives the abandonment. There is no way to know in any situation when a Chinese baby is found without a note or any clues who's baby this was or where it came from. Awhile back I had an assessment done to find out if there were any leads on where our daughter could be from or if there were any clues to who left her. Based on the findings, and the location of where she was found, it was determined that it would be almost 100% impossible to know. I will have to break this info to her as she gets older and understands more about her birth country. There still could be clues in an orphanage file somewhere that has not yet been disclosed. Also, if it is God's will, I know that He can do anything and reveal her biological parents to us one day. Anything is possible, but from what I understand at this point in time, not very much is probable. This is one reason why I think going on a heritage tour is so important with a child adopted from china. They will gain a much greater understanding when they are there, and they will see many other children who have similar stories.

I don't know all the answers. I can't say I am doing it right all the time. All of their stories are so different. I don't know how they will feel when one has contact with a biological parent and another does not. That is a more difficult aspect when there are multiple adopted children in one family. I will continue to pray for wisdom and guidance as time goes on.

I will always reassure them that they are right where God, their heavenly father who loves them so much wants them to be. When I do, I see smiles and faces that look content and happy. With that,  I am at peace, and I know I am right where I am supposed to be too, loving these precious kiddos the Lord has so graciously and generously given to me.

Come and see my little lambs!!!

Update! My blog sidebar is finally updated with my six little children, my little lambs, my blessings! Our adoptions all finalize next month. Whoo hoo! When I reflect on the beautiful children I have been given after opening my heart and home to international adoption, as well as the foster care system here in the USA, I am amazed at how lucky I really am. Every single one of these children have qualities I adore, and every single one of them are so precious. I am so blessed to be called mommy by all of them. My heart is full.

Update...

 

We have three adoptions taking place in the next few weeks. It's hard to believe that all four children we have fostered have ended up needing a forever home. Each time a child came through my front door, there were so many unknowns, and so many questions, but each time, they were entering their forever home. It was hard to see it that way in the beginning. I still treated them all as if they were my own from the moment I met each one, and to think that God has given me all of these children and is allowing me to be their forever mama is one of the biggest blessings I could have ever imagined. God is so good, and we give Him all the thanks and praise for the precious children He has entrusted to us.

 

I have a big job ahead of me. Life can be so bittersweet. Lately, life has felt quite brutal. My heart has been so broken, and I have learned to trust the Lord more through that brokenness, which in turn has been a gift. The job of raising these six children is a task and an undertaking that I cannot do on my own on a daily basis. That is a fact. So many times I find myself relying on my own strength, and in frustration and brokenness I fall before the Lord and ask for help. It's the holy spirit I need on a daily basis to get me through, and to help me meet the needs of so many little lives, all needing mama at the same time. Draining? Yes, but that only makes room for God's spirit to fill me up with His so that I can do this not through my own ability, but His. I am a stubborn person. There are days I stop and wonder what in the world I thought I was doing, and why didn't I stop and allow the Lord to help me? Thankfully His mercies are new every morning, and I get another chance. I get another chance to nurture and love, and teach, and disciple each little heart that I have in my care. Thank you, Lord.

 

On the farm front, we have been busy. We have been raising lots of baby chicks this year, and gathering eggs, and working with the pony, who has been teaching me a lot. Not growing up a horse person, these last two years of having a horse have given me a quick and intense education. There is so much to learn when you own a horse. I've learned so much. Miranda has learned so much. Her love of horses has grown and grown. She has been taking riding lessons for over a year, and now she has grown out of her sweet little stubborn pony. A new horse will make it's debut here this week. Miranda is so excited. It's such a cool story how the Lord blessed us with this horse...and there will lots more learning going on. I will share more of that story later. We have a two litters of kittens with one mama cat who adopted one of the litters when the other mama cat disappeared. We found the kitties just in time. Life on a farm, even a small hobby farm like ours is a lot of work, and there is some heartache that comes along with it at times. Animal emergencies are no fun, and we have had our fair share lately. I am ready to sit back and relax for awhile, but that won't be happening. 

 

It's hard to believe how fast this year has flown by. DH is working daily on the garden, and really hopes I do some canning this year. So in between taking care of all the kids and all the animals, I will be preparing and preserving the bountiful harvest we are always blessed with. Yes, farms are a lot of work, and sometimes I wish I had a tiny front and back yard that required no work, but I know that if that were the case, I would miss it all. As the kids grow, they will participate more and more so it will all balance out, I am sure.  

 

Stay tuned for some updated photos of kids, critters, and much more!

 

 

 

 



 



Spring update!

It's time for a quick update!

Foster care: Baby Riah will be turning 2 next month! His bio mom lost parental rights months ago, his relatives stopped visits with him, and his bio dad, who never requests visits, and hasn't seen him in many many months signed relinquishment papers the other day. Laney and Austin (bio sibs) should be adopted soon as well, but I will need to clarify with the SW. Austin has been legally free since we got him a year and a half ago, but we have been waiting on the parents who have been filing appeal after appeal on Laney. They have lost all appeals, but we must wait it out. In the mean time they had another baby and were allowed to keep it! Stay tuned for some upcoming adoptions!!!

The Farm: Crazy times. Not much luck with our animals lately. Our banty chickens have been hatching out babies, but either the mother dies or the baby chicks die off one by one. We have saved three! We are also having a difficult time finding the eggs all of our hens are laying in random places around the farm. Let's just say our farming skills need some improving! We have recently nursed a sick pony back to health. During the process we bonded with her so much, and may end up keeping her, instead of selling her as I had planned. We also may be adding a new horse to the farm, as Miranda's horse riding instructor has her eye on one for her, so we are waiting to hear more about it.  We went to our first horse show recently. It was fun watching the small ponies pulling the carts! The vet that recently evaluated our pony said she has a beautiful gait, is very sound,  and would be awesome with a cart...who knows, you just might see me driving a pony cart in the future...lol! We have a litter of kittens due any day, and a new puppy will call this it's home in a few weeks when we are done putting up our new fence. Also...our little Nigerian dwarf goat is pregnant for the very first time, thanks to my friend Dalyn, and her goat over at Muckboots N Aprons. I just hope it all happens naturally, because as I said, my farming skills are not up to par, and I don't think I'm ready to deliver baby goats anytime soon!

Homeschooling: Homeschooling six kids is a huge task! The baby runs around causing havoc while the others attempt their studies, but I wouldn't have it any other way! All are making progress, and enjoying their daily lives, taking lots of time to play outside each day. They attend our homeschool co-op and will also be performing in a Homeschool Night of the arts talent show this upcoming week!

Church: We continue to thank the Lord for blessing us with such an amazing church family. It has been a blessing and we are coming up on one year of attending. We are currently reading a book I highly recommend for anyone..."The emotionally Healthy Church". It's all about looking deep within ourselves, our families, our behavior, and where we are spiritually. We cannot be healthy spiritually if we are not healthy emotionally, and this has been an answer to prayer for me. What an excellent book, and I wish my husband and I would have read this years ago!

Stay tuned for more foster care updates, and pictures of all the new critters arriving in the upcoming weeks!

Are you compelled?

Just had to do a blog post on this date 12-12-12!!! There will not be another triple number date like this until Jan. 1, 3001!!!

I need to update this blog but with six kids have found that very hard these days. I will give an update regarding baby Riah. He is now 18 mos. old! He is doing a lot better, however, he is still a very intense child! He is attaching better, and talking up a storm! He seems to be on track developmentally. And...he will more than likely end up being a permanent member of our family. Despite all that we have tried to help him get placed with his bio. brother and great aunt and uncle, we have been told this is not going to be a possibility. It seems so odd, since the brother is doing great there, is well loved, and thriving, and these relatives are heartbroken because they want him so much.. God must have had another plan...and when I think back to the fact that the Lord had a put a little african american baby on my heart right before he came to us, I know God's hand is in this...it was me that tried to mess with it!  Yes, a month or so before baby Riah came I had thought about looking into a possible domestic adoption of an african american child. I "knew" there was not a possibility of fostering to adopt an african american child in my area, because there are very few black people that live here! So you can imagine my surprise when I went to pick up this baby boy 14 months ago, and was handed this little chocolatey bundle! I was shocked, but immediately felt the Lord's hand in this as the Lord (and my husband) were the only two that knew my heart in this matter!

God is the one who sees and knows, so although it seems to make sense in my mind why He should be with his relatives, the Lord knows much more than I and there was abviously a reason he was sent here instead of there. Isn't it amazing that the Lord can send you the desire of your heart even before you present your requests to Him? I had not really intentionally prayed about this yet, and I definately was not yet thinking of taking another foster child at that time either!  That is how much the Lord knows us! He knows everything, from every hair on our head to every thought that passes through our minds. And, sometimes these things come to pass even before we can get the words out in prayer. That is why our thought life is so important. It is like a prayer to God. Everything we think, act, do, pray is all known by the one who knows us best. Our thought life can be prayer and praise to the Lord every day. We should always be thinking, "Is this pleasing to the Lord"?  I can think of so many other times the Lord has answered unspoken prayers in such specific ways all because He knows me and cares, and wants what is best for me. I wish that every christian and those that don't yet know the Lord could know this type of relationship with God. Once you see God working in your life this way, you are convinced that God is real, and God continues to reveal himself in your life all the time. So many people I know have not experienced that true presence of God, and I so wish that for everyone. The presence of the holy spirit is something that cannot be explained. I think you have to experience it. I have had so many amazing encounters with God, and following Him is the greatest desire of my heart. It is a challenge with six kids because my flesh is constantly driving me to act differently, and thankfully I have the Lord to guide me or I would be totally lost, and these kids, the precious ones He has entrusted to me...I have no idea where they would be! I am so thankful for Jesus. In fact, I am going through one of the hardest trials of my life right now, and although my tears flow, my hope is in Jesus, and I can find Joy even in the midst of extreme hardship and being completely misunderstood! I know my God will deliver me!!!

Sometimes blogging is good. It is good to share a testimony, share how the Lord is working in the lives of people who are caring for the fatherless. I would not trade this life for another. I have had the beautiful oppotunity in the last couple weeks to witness two new precious children join the families of friends of mine. They are two of the most adorable little girls I have ever seen. My heart is so full just thinking of it!  I wish I had more room. I wish I had more time. There are so many little ones in need just in my little area of the country right now. I would love to welcome more, but the truth is, my arms are full. My two youngest children are both very very intense and needy little ones that need a lot of one on one attention. I am stretched...and because of that I am going to continue to stretch and reach out to others the best way I know how to assist others in opening their homes to babies and orphans in need. I can't stop. The need is too great...I thank the Lord that he has placed this passion within me, because it is one that I can't ignore, and I will continue to be disturbed by thoughts and images of children cold and alone, broken and abused and if that doesn't compell me to keep fighting for them, nothing will. My prayer is that it will compell you as well....and God will take it from there.

The story continues...

It was another busy day here, and as I was out running errands all day long, my husband got a phone call from our adoption social worker. She stated that the bio mom (of our sibling set), called again, and this time she is stating that she and the bio father are BOTH willing to drop the appeals. That is hard to believe, but okay. This guy even appealed his relinquishment of his son when the state thought he was living with the aunt but was living with him, and he lost. He just doesn't back down. So, the adoption sw stated that she can't be the go between, and took the bio mother's number down and gave it to us (which I already have from the letter she sent us). Now, apparently it's back in our hands. We know what will happen. I will call and explain again that we will start visitations as soon as the appeals are dropped and the adoptions are final. They will ask for a visit with the son as soon as they drop their appeals and won't want to wait for the adoption. That is why we had the original meeting to begin with, so it would all be explained to them. Maybe, just maybe the bio dad is coming to his senses, but I won't know until I hear that he actually drops the appeal. I hate that we have to deal with all this now, but it's the way it has all worked out, and I have to believe it is for a reason. And, I was also told that bio mom is pregnant again.

Our family!

 

 

 

I desperately need to update this blog, and get focused on using it for it's intended purpose, but in the meantime, here is a picture of us we had done this summer! We were blessed to have a professional photographer come and take some shots for free...as she takes part in red thread sessions adoptive family photo shoots. She was so sweet, the kids loved her, and we had a fun afternoon. A friend of mine also had a photo shoot done the same day by Jessica. She is also a mother and foster parent. They recently adopted their first foster placement. Her photos turned out amazing!

To give a quick update, I think we are going to go ahead with our 4 yr. old foster sons adoption, since he is legally free and has been since we got him last Nov. He is the sweetest little boy I have ever known, and feel so blessed to be his mama! We are disappointed that we cannot adopt him and his little sister together, but we will have to wait it out for up to two years while her  bio dad continues his appeal. Regarding little baby Riah, it is very complicated. I made a bit of a bold move and asked the GAL if he would consider looking into the relatives that the state did not want to place him with. He talked to them again, and also agrees that it would be a wonderful placement, because, after all, his 5 yr. old brother resides there. He is now getting visits with his brother and these relatives 3 times a week, in preparation for a transition there, if the judge will okay this in the near future. I will miss the little guy, but after praying about it, felt peace that this should be explored. Waiting to see what the outcome will be...

Part three!!!

SO very sorry to leave you all wondering what happened...so I will get right to it. I called bio mom, and she answered. I explained who I was, and she was very surprised. I explained that we are willing to offer yearly visits to them for both children. She stated, "Wow". I think it was much more than she expected. I feel at peace with this decision. She said she would be dropping her appeal as soon as possible. She is trying to get her boyfriend, the bio father to do the same, but based on his history, it will be a miracle if he drops it. He isn't the one dying to see his children. We really want to adopt these two together, so that it will be a special day for both of them, and I have always felt that way. If he doesn't drop his appeal on our fd, he may appeal all the way up the courts, which can take two years, and I really don't want bio mom to have to wait that long. The next step is for the dept. to call a meeting with all 4 of us "parents". We want to present our offer to them both, and the dept. will explain in person again why he needs to drop his appeal so we can get the adoptions finalized and they can have a visit. We are all hoping for a positive outcome, but have no idea how this dad will respond because he usually responds very negatively to anything that has to do with dshs, or the courts. Generally, he is not a happy camper.

And....now for the question we have all been waiting for. How did they find out who we were??? I did ask her over the phone, and I was praying I would get a straight answer. She was silent for a moment, so I was thinking that maybe she was trying to come up with some story, but she told the truth. She got our names and address off of a prescription diaper rash cream that was in the diaper bag and sent on one of the visits!! I know this is true because last Sept. when we went to Disneyland another foster mom watched her for us. She came down with an odd rash the day we were leaving. The foster parent took her in to see the Dr. for it the next day. She was prescribed a medicated cream, and unfortunately the foster parent then sent if off on her visit the next day. Now there is always a chance that we sent it in the bag accidentally the next week when we were back, but I am usually very careful about those things and rip off any identifying information before placing it in the diaper bags that are sent on visits with bios. So, anything can happen! You just never know, and I think if biological parents want the information bad enough, they will get it. It's not something that scares me from fostering, as I know God has all of this in His hands, and maybe, just maybe this all happened for a reason, and He is working His good out of it all. We can't predict the future, but we can pray that the outcome will be positive, and over time, having contact with these parents might just be what was supposed to happen anyway.  God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His plans are not our plans. Only time will tell as this story continues to unfold.

Continued.....!!!!!!

So, I left everyone hangin after we found the letter in our mail box from bio mom of our little sibling set....
Since that event took us both totally off guard, we realized we needed to make a plan of action. This plan would not be popular with the dept., but it was a plan we came to after much thought, and prayer.
I called a meeting with the dept. I asked how our info. could have gotten out to them. Noone had a clue. We had no clue. Our CASA/GAL has moved away, so I wasn't sure if she could have given it out, but didn't think so. At the meeting I shared our plan. Our fs has been legally free since infancy when his parents relinquished him to his aunt for adoption, which didn't work out because he actually was given back to his bio parents by her (the dept. didn't know this until we got him). His sister has been with us since birth and these parents just lost their rights in Feb. of this year. So, both of them are legally free. We wanted to adopt them together, and have been waiting to do this, but both parents have appealed the termination of their rights on our fd. We had a lot to consider. Do we just go ahead and adopt him, and wait out the two years for his sisters adoption? Since fs was with the bio parents for 3 years, mom is very attached, and it has been very difficult for her these past 9 months. Do we offer visitations to parents who have been so deceitful with the system? What's in the best interest of these two precious children we have in our home who call us mommy and daddy? The dept. felt these parents do not deserve visits after we adopt them, due to the fact that, number one, they lost their rights. Number two, they did nothing to work their plan to get their children back, legally.  Number three, based on their behavior in court, they did not feel these parents would be good for these children. We took their advice, that is, up until the letter landed in our mail box. I know this mom is hurting. She loved her son, but chose to do things the wrong way. Her choices have landed her where she would never have the chance to see either of them again. For some reason she was unable to do what was necessary to get her children back. The letter was her last desperate attempt to reach out and find a way to see him, even if, it was just once more (in her words).

I have read some studies that talk about adopteess and birth parents. I know that in many cases the outcome is much better if the adoptee just has some info and just knows something about who their birth  parents were, no matter who they are and how they live. They just need to know. Two of my adult friends also believe knowing who their birth parents were as a child would have been a very positive thing for them growing up.  We considered this. It made sense. The dept. could only offer to help us get a restraining order. Well, that didn't make sense to me at this point. These parents aren't threatening us. It's just a mom that has made some poor choices who desperately misses her son. I know this for sure.

So, back to the meeting with the dept. I shared that the game plan has now changed. We could no longer follow their recommendation. These parents know who we are and exactly where we live. We don't want to always be wondering if they are driving by, stalking the house, or looking for the kids. We also think that in the long run, it really will be in the best interest for them to know who their birth parents are. So, we decided to offer a once a year visit, that will be written up by our attorney on a legal document. The dept. agreed that our decision will be okay. The next step was for me to call bio mom on the phone number she provided in the letter. I was to explain to her what we had decided to offer, but the deal is that in order for her to get a visit, we have to get both of their adoptions finalized and we can only do this if they both drop their appeals. I was also going to ask her straight out how she got our names and address.  I put it off, but finally picked up the phone and called her the other day...and she answered................to be continued.

There is no anonymity

Sure, you may have been told you would be anonymous when you took a foster child into your home. You may have been told that foster parents names are never given out, or that the dept. takes great strides in protecting your privacy. That's what we were told, and for the most part, believed.

Let's look at our society, and social media. Technology seems to advance at a great speed on a daily basis. Soon we will be walking into stores where our faces will be recognized electronically, and personalized ads will be sent directly to our phones. It is not difficult to find information on line and in many other places. In foster care, you are not only caring for children, but you are attending court hearings, and getting legal papers with all kinds of information. Some of the paperwork I have gotten will have blacked out areas, but the next week I might recieve the same document with the same information that is not blacked out. We attend meetings where the facilitaor may "forget" and blurt out your name in front of people who aren't supposed to know. Then, if the bio parents, are persistent, they may even follow one of the transporters back to your home, while everyone is completely oblivious as to what is going on. There is even a law in my state where bio parents that have their children in foster care can go to DSHS and ask to find out the location of where their children reside. Ridiculous, if you ask me. But, my point is this...and I believe this should be covered in the 30 hrs. of foster parent training that is required for licensing...just assume you will not remain anonymous. We now know it is almost impossible to remain anonymous. We thought we were completely anonymous to the bio parents of our sibling set, our now 2 yr. old daughter and 4 yr. old son that we are in the process of adopting...that is until 2 weeks ago, when I walked out and checked my mailbox and found a handwritten letter to us from their biological mother....to be continued...

Foster care update...

A quick update! Fostering children can be a complicated ordeal, but one that is well worth it!  We have a lot going on with our little ones right now. Laney and her brother are both legally free now, however, we are in a holding pattern at the moment, while the bio father appeals, and our attorney works through some new law that was recently implemented. So, we wait to finalize their adoption, and I am hoping it happens sometime in the next few months!

Baby Riah has been with us 9 months already! He is by far, the most difficult,  challenging baby I have ever dealt with. It's sad that his little nervous system is disregulated so much, and I wish there was more I could do to help him! I was asked to attend a court hearing last week. The GAL was asking to move him to some nearby relatives where his older brother resides. We really thought the judge would be in agreement, but in the end, he ruled to keep him here in our care. I left it all to the Lord and although I don't understand the outcome, there must be a greater reason. His case will remain up in the air and the GAL may try to move him there again in a couple months, so back to court we will go! I will continue to pray and trust the Lord has this all worked out.  In the meantime, we will continue working with Riah to develop improved trust, and decreased frustration. He is learning to walk! It's only wed. and I have already been to an emergency dental appt. with him, and an emergency ER visit with him this week! Learning to walk can be a dangerous thing! The ER visit was due to him coming into contact with peanut butter, something he is highly allergic to. He is just fine now...and it is nice being home and not in a waiting room tonight!

I continue to wish there were two of me. The need seems to become greater and greater, and although I have a strong desire to foster more children, my hands are full, so I will continue to get the word out there, and hope more foster parents will sign up! A little one waits, scared and alone tonight for a warm bed, and a safe home. Could yours be one?

It happened...

What is a large family? Four kids, five, six? I have heard what a lot of larger than average families have gone through over time, and the types of comments they have gotten, but so far we haven't experienced much of that. (probably because I haven't been brave enough to take my brood out on my own all that often). Today, for the second time, since having six children, (who are now 1,2,3,4,5, and 10 by the way), I took them out on my own ,and I got the comment I have heard about other families of 4 or more children saying they have dealt with. I found it quite humorous, actually. Since it was a semi emergency, I packed all six of them into the Suburban this morning to take my oldest to the doctor's office. It was a same day emergency appt, so we did not have our usual pediatrician today. Instead, it was an unsuspecting physician's assistant, who, upon entering our room, was quickly taken aback. He stopped in his tracks before the door even shut behind him. He quickly glanced around at the 12 little eyes staring up at him, and then finally found me in the group, reached out his hand to introduced himself, then asked, "Daycare??". To which I replied, "Nope, they're all mine". I wasn't sure what his response would be, but this man was pleasantly surprised. He wanted to know all about them, so I shared our story. He was so curious that I think he forgot why we were there, and my oldest daughters semi-medical emergency. It turned out that we were in the right place at the right time. He had been interested in foster care, but had not taken that next step. He wanted to know how to make that next step. He was definately talking to the right person, because I told him how serious the need is in this county for foster and adoptive homes.  He wondered where to go, who to talk to, and how to acquire such adorable children like mine, I am sure. He wanted to know the difference between straight foster care and foster-adopt, how many bedrooms you need, and if they need medical insurance, and I was thrilled to fill him in on all of it.  When he was done examining my oldest, he quickly switched back to the topic of foster care, and foster adoption. This made my day..and I think I just might need to be a little more brave, and get my kids out there more, instead of waiting until my husband is home, so he can watch some of them so that I don't have to take them all at once. It's really not bad, in fact, every time we have taken them all out, it never fails that someone actually approaches me to tell me how well behaved they are, or how cute they are. Some ask questions, but most people are so encouraging and just want to say something positive. I hope my sweet little group today have made an impression on this man, and that soon, another little child will have a loving home to call their own.

How sad...foster care update!

It's going to be awhile until the adoption is finalized for Laney and her brother,  A. I think the bio mom is still in shock. She had an open adoption agreement with her sister, who was supposed to be working on adopting him, but never did. She let her sister (the bio mom) have him unsupervised all the time. This is why cps removed him after almost 4 years when they were tipped off. He was only attached to bio mom, not the aunt he was supposedly with. Her rights were terminated back when she relinquished him to her sister at birth.

Here's what's sad. She is calling the SW all the time now. She stated that she wants to see the kids because she has an open adoption agreement. No. That one was only between her and the sister. It's terminated now. When the TPR trial happened in Feb. they lost. They did not relinquish. Her and the bio dad never did one service requested of them for 2 full years, and now she thinks she has rights to the kids. She hasn't acted this desperate the entire time, until she no longer has rights. She has lost 2 other children, and she still doesn't get it. It's a little too late. She is even asking now if we will let her see the kids. This was all supposed to be figured out before the trial.

So, I do think this is sad. I do think she loves these kids. I just don't think she gets it, and she didn't show any motivation to do what was needed before her rights were terminated. I am not sure what we will do next.

Yesterday it was cream cheese...

...and today it was lotion. Oh, wait! I forgot about the other big mishap with the play makeup the day before. This little recently-turned-two year old has been VERY mischievous lately. She gets her hands on things like this, and gives herself a facial, or paints her entire body with play lipstick. Today I found her hiding in her brothers closet with a tube of lotion her big sister left out, and she had it smushed into the carpet. I am still working on getting the red, pink, and black stains out of the carpet and off the walls in her room. I have never parented a child who did these things. Laney has always been a handful, but now this is making things even more interesting. She pretty much requires constant supervision. She does most of these things when I go into the kitchen to clean up. She knows I'm not right there with her, and this is what we find. Oh, little Laney, what am I going to do with you? 

So much to blog...so little time!

So sorry I have been neglecting this blog lately. I honestly cannot find much time or energy right now. Things are crazy...and I mean insanely crazy busy. So busy, I hardly have time to think, much less write a blog. Having 5 children 5 and under is unreal. I recently heard Michelle Duggar say that she felt overwhelmed when she had 5 under 5 at one point. That's an understatement. I have a sweet homeschooled teen girl who comes and watches the kids while I clean for a few hours once every two weeks. That has not even helped me put a dent in all I have to do. I don't sit down much during the day. I am always meeting the needs of one child or another. All the while trying to nurture each individual child in the area they are growing in. Miranda started 4-H and is enjoying learning much more about her pony, how to train it, and how to ride her. She tried to breed her rabbit again, and this time it died on it's due date. Such is life on the farm sometimes. Lily is loving her tap and ballet class. She is a sweet little ballerina, and Lexi Joy is following in her footsteps right behind her. She refers to herself as a princess. Speaking of Lexi, she is an absolute Joy to parent. She is incredible, and such a special gift from the Lord. She is only 2, but surprises me with her above average language skills, and her intelligence. Tonight I was reading her a little critter book, and she saw a hidden shape on one of the pages. Out of the blue she said, "Little sister is eating a hexagon"! When I looked at it closer, it was in the shape of a hexagon. Amazing. And when did I teach her that shape? I didn't. She's just that smart! And cute...the cuteness just ooozes out of her. 


Laney is too cute for words as well, but continues to be my biggest handful. Wow. There are not words to describe this little fireball. Thankfully her cuteness and sweetness gets her out of a lot of trouble. And then there's Austin, her brother. He is such a super sweet little boy with so much love to give. And baby Riah. He is growing and changing at a rapid pace now. He has a neurodevelopmental appt. in Seattle this week, and maybe it will give us a bit more insight into his current issues. He is doing so much better, and I continue to pray for healing. 


We have new chicks on the farm, and are in the process of looking for a new home for Spring, the baby pony. There is yard work to do, barns to paint, house projects to get done, and so much more. One thing that really amazes me is the amount of laundry, dishes, food, and more that a family of 8 can go through in a day. Just managing those basic tasks can take up the entire day. 


One thing I can say for sure is this: Life is full. And one thing I know for sure: We are blessed. 
Stay tuned for some updated pictures! 

Update...

A quick update...
The SW is stopping by to pop her head in the door, as we are all still sick here, and have been for weeks. She said that the father has not yet appealed the termination of parental rights, which they were all expecting to happen right after the trial. That is good news. I should find out more after her visit today.

Baby Riah has been sick too, along with all of us, and that makes him a very unhappy little guy. Right now he is napping, which is where he loves to be when not feeling well. The update on him is that his bio father, who is in his mid 50's, has decided that he wants some distant cousin from another state to have him, so they are obligated to do a homestudy on her. The SW doesn't think this will pass, so we will wait and see. She also does not feel it is in his best interst to move there. On some amazing news...he is crawling, and not backwards, on top of his head. I have been working with him daily, and he finally figured it out!!! So happy to see him meeting some of his developmental milestones, although late, he is meeting them!

Back to tending to my little ones...I had dreaded the day that all six of them would get sick at once, and unfortunately I got sick too! Thank God for friends who brought meals and all those praying for us. This too shall pass! More soon...

I have two 2 YEAR OLDS!!

My little sweet Laney had a birthday!!! That means I now have two 2 year olds!!! They are only nine months apart, so Lexi will be turning 3 in only three months! It's crazy how fast they grow up! In three months I will have a 1 year old, 2 year old, 3 year old, 4 year old, 5 year old and 10 year old.

Laney is my most "energetic" child. She is a handful. She is fearless. She has physical abilities above and beyond her age as she jumps off the top step and lands on two feet while her 9 month older sister is still scooting down on her bottom! She is very loving, sweet, and fun, and I am so glad that 2 years ago I answered the call to go pick up this tiny baby who was in the NICU of our local hospital! What a blessing she is, and who would have known that almost two years later, her older brother would join us? I can't imagine life without them at this point. We will be adopting both of them together in the very near future...they are both legally free, we are just waiting on the parents and whether or not they are appealing, and then we will finalize their adoption! Foster care and adoption is such a huge part of our lives. I can't imagine not doing this. If you are looking into it, I say go for it...foster parents are so needed...and who knows...you might just be giving a child a forever family!

It's done!!!

After almost two full years, the termination of parental rights trial finally happened!!! Yesterday, Laney became legally free!!! Now, we can begin the adoption paperwork for her and her brother!!!

I never would have believed when I brought this tiny little bundle home from the hospital almost 2 years ago, that I would end up with an added gift-her brother!!! What a blessing both of these two are.

Although the parents never completed even one required class, drug test, etc. they still continued to fight and argue their defense up until the last moment and the father is appealing the termination. They are still allowing us to get started with the adoption while he is appealing. He has no basis for the appeal, so the case will be closed sometime in the near future.

Praise the Lord for His wonderful gifts-children!!!

Deep thoughts...

I really don't know where this post will go, I'm a little emotional right now, thinking about all I need and want to express...I really don't know if I can adequately put it all into words. 


I am... heartbroken...for what breaks the heart of God. My home is full...or is it? At least in my mind it seems...yet there are children every.single.day in this community that need us. I have 6. Yet, more need homes. Foster children and new born babies in all of our cities, and  babies and children in orphanages all over the world who get almost no stimulation daily, they need homes. Loving, christian homes.  I am only one. I want them all, but as one, I cannot take them all. 


I am... frustrated. Frustrated that the majority of people won't choose to see the need, and respond. Tonight a call came. An 8 yr. old girl living in a horrific situation needed somewhere to go. She was just removed, and scared, and yet, maybe, somewhat hopeful, and thankful that she was no longer there to be abused...yet I didn't have the space. Another friend got a call for two baby boys, and another sibling group of four needed a home tonight. All of these children need us. US. All of us. We are the hands, feet and heart of Jesus. What would He do? Would he pretend that this wasn't happening all around us in our own neighborhoods and communities? No, he would embrace them. We as christians need to lay our lives down for those that need us...especially innocent children. It's not about us and our comfort and our perfect little families anymore. It's about laying down our lives, sacrificially, and saying yes, yes, I will...for you Lord...because of all you've done for me and because it pleases you...and because you've asked me to.  


I am...responsible. Responsible to care, and to advocate for those children here in our own towns, and those around the world that need us. 


I am... confused. Why is it not that important to so many christians? Why do they look at us and say, "Wow, it takes a special person"? It really doesn't. It just takes an open heart and a willingness to lay down your life for another. Where is the church? 


There is a couple at our church that have started serving the homeless every sunday afternoon. I am so proud of them. They are meeting physical needs, providing clothing, blankets and food...and they are not leaving out the gospel, as they share the words of God's love for them. This is wonderful. People are stepping up, giving to the cause, helping out. We also jumped in on this as the Bible tells us to care for them. He also says to care for orphans, which is what the american foster child is. They are, essentially, homeless children.  For some reason or another, they have either been abandoned by their parents, or soon will be, or their parents can no longer care for them. Where is the emphasis on the importance of this? I don't see it, yet I see people jumping in to help the homeless adults without blinking an eye. Are children not just as important? Why isn't the church seeing this need...and encouraging each other in the need for christian families to step up and care for these precious children? 


I am...blessed. I cannot emphasize enough the blessings we have been so graciously given as we have cared for these children. We have been blessed with the gift of adoption, internationally, and here at home through the foster care system. We have new daughters and sons because we took the risk to care for the children around us that needed homes and families. I never would have believed the blessings could have been this BIG. I am in awe of how the Lord always gives us immeasurably more than we ever could have hoped or asked for. For that I am...forever grateful. Thank you, Jesus. 

Sweet baby boy....

Your name means "God is my light" and my prayer for you is that you know this truth to the fullest during your whole lifetime! You are precious in my sight and in God's eyes too. 


The first few months of your life have not been easy. It is not your fault, little one. You are a living miracle. It is not an accident that you are here. 


You have gradually changed over the short time you have been here. You are moving more now, and although your little muscles won't allow you to move the way you need to, you manage to find a way. 


You are smiling and giggling now...no more screaming fits all day long. This mama is SO happy! 


May God continue to guide us and shine his light before us on this journey, little one!