How sad...foster care update!

It's going to be awhile until the adoption is finalized for Laney and her brother,  A. I think the bio mom is still in shock. She had an open adoption agreement with her sister, who was supposed to be working on adopting him, but never did. She let her sister (the bio mom) have him unsupervised all the time. This is why cps removed him after almost 4 years when they were tipped off. He was only attached to bio mom, not the aunt he was supposedly with. Her rights were terminated back when she relinquished him to her sister at birth.

Here's what's sad. She is calling the SW all the time now. She stated that she wants to see the kids because she has an open adoption agreement. No. That one was only between her and the sister. It's terminated now. When the TPR trial happened in Feb. they lost. They did not relinquish. Her and the bio dad never did one service requested of them for 2 full years, and now she thinks she has rights to the kids. She hasn't acted this desperate the entire time, until she no longer has rights. She has lost 2 other children, and she still doesn't get it. It's a little too late. She is even asking now if we will let her see the kids. This was all supposed to be figured out before the trial.

So, I do think this is sad. I do think she loves these kids. I just don't think she gets it, and she didn't show any motivation to do what was needed before her rights were terminated. I am not sure what we will do next.

Precious baby L

On July 23rd, 2009 I was pulling into the parking lot of a local farm supply store, when my cell phone rang. It was dh, saying there was a call from dcfs, about a baby girl, 7 wks. old. After numerous other calls, and saying no to placements of so many, were we finally ready to take this little one into our hearts and home? I quickly called the sw back for more info. She said they had the baby at their office. Her mother was young, this was her first child. They had no idea what direction this case would go.  The sw called us even though we were only supposed to get calls for "foster adopt" situations, but this was clearly not that. I called dh back, and we had to make a fast decision, as this baby needed someone. At that moment, we both agreed, that yes, we would take her. I remember driving over to the dcfs office, wondering what this experience would be like. I waited in the waiting room, and two women came out carrying this little one in her car seat. I looked down at her, and immediately fell in love with her angelic face. I brought her home to dh, and we both looked at her and couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I remember one of the first times I held her in my arms, she looked up at me and smiled!! She was so aware, and so social, for such a young age. She hasn't stopped smiling since! She has brought so much joy. She is so loved by us all.

Today was another part of the roller coaster ride I've been on, but I think I stepped off today. Although, I still feel like I'm riding. As I was getting ready to head out to the relinquishment hearing, I got a call from the GAL. She had just heard from baby L's attorney who said that the relinquishment may not happen today, because baby L's mom had to go to another court hearing in another city on some criminal charges. She said she was supposed to meet with her at 1pm, but didn't think she would make it. I was advised not to go, as nothing would happen, but I decided to go anyway. When I drove up, I saw baby L's great grandmother, so I knew her bio mom must be there. Then I found out that the attorney presented her with the open adoption agreement and relinquishment right then and there and she signed it! Talk about waiting til the last minute, because the hearing was at 1:30. She has 48 hrs. to change her mind, but because the attorney is out this week, she has until next wed. to let someone know if she changes her mind. The sw said not to worry, because noone ever changes their mind, and if she did, it would mean termination trial, which would be worse for her anyway.
I also just found out that baby L's mom requested one last good-bye visit. She has made no effort to see her since before Christmas, but wants a good-bye visit, and she wants us to facilitate it. She doesn't want a social worker or transportation person like they usually have. When I told dh this, we both felt a sense of sadness. Although we are so glad things are finally moving in a positive direction toward permanancy for baby L and us, the thought of her mom having us bring her for a good-bye visit with us there is very bittersweet. I can't imagine it. I think partly because I cannot comprehend what her mom's life must be like. I cannot comprehend relinquishing a child. My heart would break into peices. And, my heart breaks for her. The good-bye visit seems like what so many that adopt an infant domestically might experience. There are so many emotions there, both happy, and sad. I really wish I had some sort of idea of what she is thinking, or going through right now.

On the flip side, I am so thankful, and grateful to God for this day! Baby L is such an amazing blessing to us. She walks around the house saying "hi momma" all the time now, and she loves hugs and kisses and snuggling up on my lap with her blankie. I can't imagine if things had gone the other way what we would all be going through. God is so good and so gracious. He has carried us through, and I have grown so much along this path. It's feels like a miracle.

Babies update!!!

The image above resembles the little ones in my house, both in diapers, both drinking their bottles, often tumbling around, giggling at each other, or pulling each other's hair, and this mommy has to break it up. Never thought I'd see the day I'd be breaking up fights between a 13 month old and 22 month old!

So, wednesday, April 13th is the day!!! I talked to baby L's social worker today, and although she continues to sound vague, she said that this wednesday, in court, there will be a hearing, establishing relinqishment. She said that this means the relinquishment will be final at the end of the hearing. So, unless I hear something tomorrow, the next day we will be attending this hearing. There is no way I would miss it. I need to hear for myself that it is actually happening, because it still doesn't seem real.

The baby girls are a handful! They are into everything, needing constant re-direction. We are exhausted! But, we are still so very thankful for them both, and I am in awe of God's hand in this entire process!

Hopefully wednesday I will have a positive update to share after the hearing! And...I believe my big girls are VERY overdue for an update of their own soon as well!

Haven't jumped off yet!

The roller coaster, for baby L's case, that is! After signing the open adoption agreement last week, we were told by the SW that things would go pretty quickly after that. She said we would be in court within the next few weeks, and she would keep us posted. Then I contacted the GAL/CASA who said that the attorney for her mom who wrote up the agreement had not yet presented it to baby L's mom. She wanted to get all of our signatures first. I have a feeling she had talked to baby L's mom about it, but had not yet shown her the paperwork. Or, maybe not? Now we continue to wait. I hope to hear something this week. We have always been very supportive of baby L's mom, but we now know she is not following through, and the past few months were her last chance at gaining her back. She has not attempted to visit with her daughter in over 3 mos. Since she did not participate in what she needed to do to get her back, the open adoption is her next best option. If she does not sign the agreement, we will be heading to court in about 8 weeks for her tpr-termination of parental rights trial, which she would lose based on non compliance with her plan. So, I really hope she undertands this, and will sign the open adoption agreement. I have been praying that she will somehow be at peace with it when she signs. I really want her to have the option of an open adoption, so I pray she makes the right choice.

I really want off this roller coaster. I never liked roller coasters anyway, I never ride them at amusement parks. And this one has been never ending, like the longest ride ever...I am so ready to jump off!

We signed!!!

Today after DH got off work, we drove over to DSHS and met with baby L's sw. She went over the open adoption agreement, and we signed!!!

The way it works now is that she (sw) will wait to hear from baby L's attorney. She said that baby L's mom may have already signed the relinquishment, but she is not sure. When her mom does sign, after 48 hrs. are up, they will take the paperwork in to court within a few days, where the commissioner will go over it and grant the relinquishment, and open adoption plan. Usually if the bio parent is there, he likes to ask them questions to make sure they understand what they are signing and what it all means. If they don't show up, their attorney can answer the questions for them. DH and I plan to attend this hearing, and it should be within the next couple weeks. I won't exhale until that part of it is done, because I still can't believe this is all happening so suddenly. The sw made it sound like it is all a done deal, but I am still being cautious. (remember, there have been relatives involved who passed the homestudy and were highly interested in her) So for right now, this seems miraculous, and I am praising God for it all. I will share more details, and update when the hearing happens, and believe me, when it does happen...I will be celebrating from the rooftops! At the end of that hearing, baby L will be considered legally free, and we will be in the adoption process with her! Thank you Jesus, for your abundant gifts! There is nothing more precious than a child.

Blessings!

It's happening!!

Upon returning home from homeschool gymnastics class today, I checked email, and found that there is already an open adoption agreement written up for us, and the dept. is waiting for us to come and sign it!!!

Just now trying to get in touch with DH, so we can get it signed this afternoon!!! The next step will be taking it in to court, and that is where her mom will relinquish, and it will be finalized. At that point, we are told, we are transferred to the adoption unit, and the paperwork will begin for her adoption!!! Thank you all for praying!!! We are not out of the woods yet, but getting close!

More to come...

Visit with Social Worker...

Today baby C's social worker stopped by for a visit. He asked about what terms we could offer for an open adoption with her. He wrote down the terms we would be comfortable with and is going to take this information to the parents to discuss. This subject has not yet been brought up with them, and we both believe they will not agree to it, so this case will have to go to tpr-termination of parental rights. The reason they want to offer this now, is because if they were to agree to it, we could start the adoption process now. If they don't agree to it, the waiting game will continue, and the tpr trial will most likely not be scheduled until December 2011 or January 2012. This is due to the courts being booked out that far. They will set the date sometime in July, and they are usually six months out. So...it is unlikely that these parents will agree to an open adoption right now, as they like to contest everything, so unless I hear otherwise, her case will probably not end for close to another year!

I also got a call from the GAL regarding baby L. She was wondering if I had heard from her social worker. She said there are emails going around still talking about the open adoption/relinquishment, so she was wondering what was happening with all of it. I have not heard a word from the social worker, so we both tried to contact her today, to find out if there is an update...let's hope she calls back with some "real" news tomorrow. I am so ready to hear something. I just want to hear that some decisions are being made in the best interest of this sweet baby. She has been with us for 20 months now.....I hope to have an update soon!!!

Waiting for court...

Sometimes it feels like this foster care journey is a lot about waiting for certain dates. Waiting for court hearings, waiting for the visit from the social worker each month. Waiting for news, waiting to attend meetings. It is never ending. Sometimes, once the day arrives, you think-this is the day! The day I will find out something! Then, after sitting for hours in a court room, listening to 40 other cases, you go home with no new information. Then you find out the next so called "important" hearing is a few months down the road, and you wait, anticipating that date, with some hope that once again, you will learn something. Possibly the fate of the baby you have been caring for and love so much, possibly an answer to prayer.

Then, that date arrives, and you find out the hearing is postponed, or the attorney decided they weren't ready, or some other odd situation disrupts the plan. And...once again, you wait.

Right now I am greatly anticipating a court date in about 3 weeks. The SW felt this was not an important hearing, but the GAL/CASA has told me otherwise. I am praying this date will give us some substantial news about baby L. I have also been told that I may hear something before then.

Now,  there is the visit from the social worker for baby C tomorrow. He said he's bringing information about an open adoption. This makes no sense to me, since these parents are fighters. They are not doing the plan asked of them, but they don't seem like the type that would allow an open adoption at this point. So, I hope I do find out more after meeting with him. Usually I don't, and it turns out to be general information, but I can hope it is something a bit more serious.

Waiting, hoping, praying.  Thanking the Lord it is ALL in His hands.

Open Adoption

We have now been asked by the social worker of each of our foster babies about open adoption. They both wanted to double check with us again if we are still willing to adopt both of them, and they wanted to know what terms we would want in an open adoption.

Both situations are very different. Baby L has a young mother, and no father involved. She has shown interest in the past but currently is not and is not following her plan.
Baby C has both parents, who are together, but failing to follow through with any services, and her case is heading in the adoption direction as well.

The attorney's for these parents are suggesting that they relinquish their child. At that point, they will be legally free, and the adoption process can start. If they relinquish, they have a chance at the open, or semi-open adoption, therefore, remaining in contact with their child. Another reason a relinquishment is better for the parents is because, if they bring another child into the world, the state will again go through the process of providing them with the option to engage in services, and become healthy enough to parent their child. If they do not relinquish, then I am told the termination of parental rights trial is held, the parents lose their rights, and have no option of an open adoption or ever seeing their child again.

I have learned a lot about this process over the last year. I am starting to see a bit of light at the end of this long, long, very long tunnel!

Hopefully we will hear an update soon on whether or not the parents of both are willing to make a relinquishment/open adoption plan!