Part three!!!

SO very sorry to leave you all wondering what happened...so I will get right to it. I called bio mom, and she answered. I explained who I was, and she was very surprised. I explained that we are willing to offer yearly visits to them for both children. She stated, "Wow". I think it was much more than she expected. I feel at peace with this decision. She said she would be dropping her appeal as soon as possible. She is trying to get her boyfriend, the bio father to do the same, but based on his history, it will be a miracle if he drops it. He isn't the one dying to see his children. We really want to adopt these two together, so that it will be a special day for both of them, and I have always felt that way. If he doesn't drop his appeal on our fd, he may appeal all the way up the courts, which can take two years, and I really don't want bio mom to have to wait that long. The next step is for the dept. to call a meeting with all 4 of us "parents". We want to present our offer to them both, and the dept. will explain in person again why he needs to drop his appeal so we can get the adoptions finalized and they can have a visit. We are all hoping for a positive outcome, but have no idea how this dad will respond because he usually responds very negatively to anything that has to do with dshs, or the courts. Generally, he is not a happy camper.

And....now for the question we have all been waiting for. How did they find out who we were??? I did ask her over the phone, and I was praying I would get a straight answer. She was silent for a moment, so I was thinking that maybe she was trying to come up with some story, but she told the truth. She got our names and address off of a prescription diaper rash cream that was in the diaper bag and sent on one of the visits!! I know this is true because last Sept. when we went to Disneyland another foster mom watched her for us. She came down with an odd rash the day we were leaving. The foster parent took her in to see the Dr. for it the next day. She was prescribed a medicated cream, and unfortunately the foster parent then sent if off on her visit the next day. Now there is always a chance that we sent it in the bag accidentally the next week when we were back, but I am usually very careful about those things and rip off any identifying information before placing it in the diaper bags that are sent on visits with bios. So, anything can happen! You just never know, and I think if biological parents want the information bad enough, they will get it. It's not something that scares me from fostering, as I know God has all of this in His hands, and maybe, just maybe this all happened for a reason, and He is working His good out of it all. We can't predict the future, but we can pray that the outcome will be positive, and over time, having contact with these parents might just be what was supposed to happen anyway.  God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His plans are not our plans. Only time will tell as this story continues to unfold.

Continued.....!!!!!!

So, I left everyone hangin after we found the letter in our mail box from bio mom of our little sibling set....
Since that event took us both totally off guard, we realized we needed to make a plan of action. This plan would not be popular with the dept., but it was a plan we came to after much thought, and prayer.
I called a meeting with the dept. I asked how our info. could have gotten out to them. Noone had a clue. We had no clue. Our CASA/GAL has moved away, so I wasn't sure if she could have given it out, but didn't think so. At the meeting I shared our plan. Our fs has been legally free since infancy when his parents relinquished him to his aunt for adoption, which didn't work out because he actually was given back to his bio parents by her (the dept. didn't know this until we got him). His sister has been with us since birth and these parents just lost their rights in Feb. of this year. So, both of them are legally free. We wanted to adopt them together, and have been waiting to do this, but both parents have appealed the termination of their rights on our fd. We had a lot to consider. Do we just go ahead and adopt him, and wait out the two years for his sisters adoption? Since fs was with the bio parents for 3 years, mom is very attached, and it has been very difficult for her these past 9 months. Do we offer visitations to parents who have been so deceitful with the system? What's in the best interest of these two precious children we have in our home who call us mommy and daddy? The dept. felt these parents do not deserve visits after we adopt them, due to the fact that, number one, they lost their rights. Number two, they did nothing to work their plan to get their children back, legally.  Number three, based on their behavior in court, they did not feel these parents would be good for these children. We took their advice, that is, up until the letter landed in our mail box. I know this mom is hurting. She loved her son, but chose to do things the wrong way. Her choices have landed her where she would never have the chance to see either of them again. For some reason she was unable to do what was necessary to get her children back. The letter was her last desperate attempt to reach out and find a way to see him, even if, it was just once more (in her words).

I have read some studies that talk about adopteess and birth parents. I know that in many cases the outcome is much better if the adoptee just has some info and just knows something about who their birth  parents were, no matter who they are and how they live. They just need to know. Two of my adult friends also believe knowing who their birth parents were as a child would have been a very positive thing for them growing up.  We considered this. It made sense. The dept. could only offer to help us get a restraining order. Well, that didn't make sense to me at this point. These parents aren't threatening us. It's just a mom that has made some poor choices who desperately misses her son. I know this for sure.

So, back to the meeting with the dept. I shared that the game plan has now changed. We could no longer follow their recommendation. These parents know who we are and exactly where we live. We don't want to always be wondering if they are driving by, stalking the house, or looking for the kids. We also think that in the long run, it really will be in the best interest for them to know who their birth parents are. So, we decided to offer a once a year visit, that will be written up by our attorney on a legal document. The dept. agreed that our decision will be okay. The next step was for me to call bio mom on the phone number she provided in the letter. I was to explain to her what we had decided to offer, but the deal is that in order for her to get a visit, we have to get both of their adoptions finalized and we can only do this if they both drop their appeals. I was also going to ask her straight out how she got our names and address.  I put it off, but finally picked up the phone and called her the other day...and she answered................to be continued.

God works in amazing ways!

So I am not up to par with this blogging thing these days. The truth is, life is exhausting right now. Life is full, and at times quite overwhelming. I have taken some time after the kids are in bed these past few days to do some blog reading, which is something I do miss. Only God could have directed the keystrokes the way He did today. I came across a blog that I may have only read once before. A woman with a heart for adoption and caring for orphans. A woman who has 7 children, and  her post stood out, as she was honest about how hard this parenting thing really is. Parenting a large number of children is nothing short of difficult, straining, and draining at times. She has beautiful children she has adopted, and yet, she was only surviving her days lately. I can relate. Then she said it. Warfare. Yes, it is what I knew all along. This can feel like a daily battle at times because the enemy wants to win. He didn't want these children to find loving homes. He would rather see them alone, neglected, and sometimes abused and dying in their orphanages. He would rather see U.S foster kids left in drug houses, not being taken care of, and abused as well. Yes, there is no doubt in my mind that spiritual attacks come in this form. He wants to take us down, those parents willing to step out for the cause of the orphan. I have something to say in response to this: The battle belongs to the Lord, and He is mightier than any attack that can come our way. 


I also took the time to read the blog of the couple I know who started a ministry to the homeless in my town. As I continued to read, the tears would not stop. These people have stepped out in faith every single sunday for the past 10 months to care for homeless in ways that would blow your mind. They go to an area where they are, and the people come,  and every week, their crowd gets bigger, and they bring food and items that are donated by random people, and they believe, in faith that they will have what is needed. They minister to them with prayer, Bibles, friendship,...and most of all, love. They have seen miracle after miracle. As I read this, it occured to me once more, that right here in my home, I am doing the same thing for the orphan, except it's not every sunday, it's every day, and that is what can make this ministry daunting. It takes the strength of the Lord to get through each day sometimes, just like these people who minister to the homeless. They go and rely on God's spirit and strength to minister to these people and to meet their physical and spiritual needs. And as I left that blog, I somehow (it had to be the hand of God), came across the next blog which I had never seen. It was another family interested in orphans and adoption. The thing that jumped out at me was this...We are on a mission...to love the orphan. It made me realize again, and I think that it was the Lord gently reminding me that I am a missionary in my own home, and that I am doing this for Him, and His glory. I am doing this for His kingdom, and for His children. I am caring for His children in my home, to raise them up to be strong christians who will go out into this world one day to also do the work to advance His kingdom. It is a humbling thing to realize, and also to realize how much I am failing, and how much I need Him. I cannot do this without daily help from the Lord. No way. And then I thank the Lord for this reality in my life...because doing the hard thing has made me seek Him more. 


And that's not all...the next blog that I ended up clicking on was this one. And after reading that, I realized that this difficult job is also full of blessings, and that I am not alone. The rewards are great, and seeing how God is moving in all of these families, who have embraced the orphan....the children of God, is awe inspiring, and then I look at my life, and I realize that even  while I trip over the mountain of laundry in the basement, and gain my composure again after two of my littles were screaming non-stop at the same time, and I mop the kitchen floor for the third time today...I thank God for these precious children, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

So much to blog...so little time!

So sorry I have been neglecting this blog lately. I honestly cannot find much time or energy right now. Things are crazy...and I mean insanely crazy busy. So busy, I hardly have time to think, much less write a blog. Having 5 children 5 and under is unreal. I recently heard Michelle Duggar say that she felt overwhelmed when she had 5 under 5 at one point. That's an understatement. I have a sweet homeschooled teen girl who comes and watches the kids while I clean for a few hours once every two weeks. That has not even helped me put a dent in all I have to do. I don't sit down much during the day. I am always meeting the needs of one child or another. All the while trying to nurture each individual child in the area they are growing in. Miranda started 4-H and is enjoying learning much more about her pony, how to train it, and how to ride her. She tried to breed her rabbit again, and this time it died on it's due date. Such is life on the farm sometimes. Lily is loving her tap and ballet class. She is a sweet little ballerina, and Lexi Joy is following in her footsteps right behind her. She refers to herself as a princess. Speaking of Lexi, she is an absolute Joy to parent. She is incredible, and such a special gift from the Lord. She is only 2, but surprises me with her above average language skills, and her intelligence. Tonight I was reading her a little critter book, and she saw a hidden shape on one of the pages. Out of the blue she said, "Little sister is eating a hexagon"! When I looked at it closer, it was in the shape of a hexagon. Amazing. And when did I teach her that shape? I didn't. She's just that smart! And cute...the cuteness just ooozes out of her. 


Laney is too cute for words as well, but continues to be my biggest handful. Wow. There are not words to describe this little fireball. Thankfully her cuteness and sweetness gets her out of a lot of trouble. And then there's Austin, her brother. He is such a super sweet little boy with so much love to give. And baby Riah. He is growing and changing at a rapid pace now. He has a neurodevelopmental appt. in Seattle this week, and maybe it will give us a bit more insight into his current issues. He is doing so much better, and I continue to pray for healing. 


We have new chicks on the farm, and are in the process of looking for a new home for Spring, the baby pony. There is yard work to do, barns to paint, house projects to get done, and so much more. One thing that really amazes me is the amount of laundry, dishes, food, and more that a family of 8 can go through in a day. Just managing those basic tasks can take up the entire day. 


One thing I can say for sure is this: Life is full. And one thing I know for sure: We are blessed. 
Stay tuned for some updated pictures! 

You are loved.

Baby Riah, you are 10 months old now, and you just started crawling!!! You are so much happier. I don't think it was just a coincidence that you ended up here, in this home, with me, a former pediatric motor therapist. God knew just what you needed. Daily therapy with me putting you through those motions your little body needed to learn. You are sitting up, transitioning, clapping,  and moving all over the house now! You squeal with delight!! Your little muscles don't seem as tight, you seem to be doing so much better in our eyes. We pray your healing continues. 


You reach out to touch us, you giggle at everyone. You are developing your own little personality!  
You are a blessing. 
You are a miracle. 
You are loved. 

I have two 2 YEAR OLDS!!

My little sweet Laney had a birthday!!! That means I now have two 2 year olds!!! They are only nine months apart, so Lexi will be turning 3 in only three months! It's crazy how fast they grow up! In three months I will have a 1 year old, 2 year old, 3 year old, 4 year old, 5 year old and 10 year old.

Laney is my most "energetic" child. She is a handful. She is fearless. She has physical abilities above and beyond her age as she jumps off the top step and lands on two feet while her 9 month older sister is still scooting down on her bottom! She is very loving, sweet, and fun, and I am so glad that 2 years ago I answered the call to go pick up this tiny baby who was in the NICU of our local hospital! What a blessing she is, and who would have known that almost two years later, her older brother would join us? I can't imagine life without them at this point. We will be adopting both of them together in the very near future...they are both legally free, we are just waiting on the parents and whether or not they are appealing, and then we will finalize their adoption! Foster care and adoption is such a huge part of our lives. I can't imagine not doing this. If you are looking into it, I say go for it...foster parents are so needed...and who knows...you might just be giving a child a forever family!

And then...

I was perfectly content with my 4 beautiful girls...

And then...God gave me boys.

I am blessed!

Boys are blessings!

Here's our precious 6 month old bundle of joy--baby Riah!! He has been with us going on 2 months now. There is a hearing coming up where there is a small possibility he may go to relatives that the state will not approve, (but the judge could), so we are waiting for the outcome right before Christmas.

And this is "A", Laney's full brother. He has now been here with us for two weeks. He seems to fit right in with the bunch. He is very sweet, and loves to help.

Having six kids is a huge adjustment, especially because they are all so close in age. We are all learning together, and doing our best to make it all work. I will say this is the hardest job I have ever had. Working 40 hrs. a week as a professional in the medical field was a piece of cake in comparison--however I never felt I was right where I was supposed to be when out in the work force. Now I do. I am here, at home, learning and growing with my children, and leaning on the Lord more every day. Leading my little ones to Christ is my daily goal. I have so far to go, and so much more to learn. I pray I will grow in wisdom, faith and trust in the Lord as I raise up these amazing kids for HIM!

**Feeling Blessed**

I was thinking this morning, what a blessing foster care has been! I cannot imagine life without my little baby C and baby L!!! The hugs and kisses they give several times a day, the giggles, the cuteness, how did I get so lucky?

I hear so many people say they could not do foster care because they could not handle it, the drama of the bio families, and possibly handing them off at some point back to the parents, or relatives. Thankfully, as I have walked this path for two years now, I have come to the conclusion that no matter what, if I am walking in obediance to God, caring for His children, He will go before me, and the children will go (or stay) where they belong. Trust. Love. Care. He will give you the strength if your heart is open to giving of yourself to these sweet children in the system that just need stability and a loving family.

There is some sacfifice in it of course. What meaningful endeavors don't come without sacrifice? I have had to turn down many social invites, and instead I focus my time raising and nurturing little ones at home. Hobbies? I have many. They are waiting in boxes for me to come back to. I know I will find the time again in the near future, but I have more pressing demands right now. Babies needing bottles, diaper changes, and baths. It's okay. My hobbies can wait. These two little cuties won't always be so tiny, soft, and snuggly. I am soaking it all in now. Fostering children is caring for orphans in your own community, and country. It is caring for the least of these, and God smiles when He sees that! :) I love my job! The titles are endless, and the blessings are too.... Mommy. Foster parent. Shepherd. Teacher. Nurturer. Caregiver. Provider. Boo boo kisser. Meal maker. Baby cuddler. Hug reciever...and many more. The blessings of becoming a foster parent have far exceeded my expectations!!!

Adoption!

After two years of having baby L, the adoption paperwork came in the mail today!!! This feels like such a miracle with all that we have been through with her! We have officially started the process, and her adoption should be complete in a few months! They are also updating our homestudy in preparation for baby C's adoption as well! Her tpr-termination of parental rights trial is set for December. Her parents have opposed every single hearing, fired their attorneys, and filed everything they can to slow down the process instead of working thier plan. They will probably appeal after the termination hearing, but all should finally end at some point in the new year-then on to adoption!

We did get another update on baby C's brother as well. Due to the fact that dcfs has realized that they need to jump through many more hoops to have him removed, they found out it will be a few more weeks before there is a final decision. They spoke again with the aunt who has custody, and she states she does want to work through the issues as well as complete the adoption paperwork, however she has been telling them this for 3 years, and she never follows through. They are at the point that they need to move him on to permancy since she is leaving him unsupervised with bio's and she is not committing to his adoption. Since he is not really in immediate danger at this time, they are going to weigh this carefully, before coming to the final conclusion. I can see where this would be a difficult decision, as he is being cared for and not abused and neglected, yet she is not maintaining her side of the bargain. If they do choose to remove him, they may contact us again about his placement, which we continue to pray about.

On the homefront, things are busy! Today I revived a newborn kitten that I thought was dead, took baby L in for an emergency Dr. appt. after she ate a cashew nut and had an allergic reaction, and finally met up with the lady that is helping me finish my first quilt---the one I started working on 3 years ago! I am already dreaming of the next one I want to create!
Summer is slipping away! We haven't even had a moment to plan a camping trip, or go to the lake! Hopefully soon...

Update

Yesterday I talked to the SW that is dealing with the situation with baby C's brother. She said that she has met with the big boss, but they still have not come to any conclusion. She was going to call the Aunt again, and try to get her to talk and explain why she isn't fighting for this boy. During the meeting she really seemed overwhelmed with life, and was not committed to adopting him, although she was supposed to have completed his adoption over a year ago. Now the court advocate believes that all along she was allowing him to have a relationship with his bio parents, and she never intended to adopt him. I was told DCFS is going to make a decision soon. He will either be moved, or he will be staying with the Aunt, if they give her another chance. I really hope a decision is made quickly, and I pray it is the right one.

At the Fair-fall 2010

Last fall, at 16 mos. of age, baby L attended the county fair for the first time.

She loved it!

Playin' in the popcorn tub.

Look at how big she is! She has grown so much, and just seems to get cuter and cuter! Her personality is big, bold, dramatic, and sweet. She is fun, and keeps us on our toes!

Baby L at 6 mos. old!

Isn't she precious??? It's amazing that these days have already come and gone, and she is now a toddler, and a little smarty pants at that!

Always smiling, that's my baby L! Just today when I got her up from her nap, I went to finish working on something at the table, and I look over, and she is just giggling away, it could be anything, the cat, a book, a toy, looking outside, etc. Whatever it is, she laughs! She has brought us so much joy. Who would have ever thought a trip to the feed store would end up in me bringing this little bundle of joy home? (If you're not sure what I am refering to, read this post)

Baby L-update & a picture!

Here's another photo of baby L right after she came to stay with us. As you can see, we all fell in love immediately.

The SW was finally back in her office today since last fridays attempted "good bye" visit with bio mom. She said that her mom doesn't get another chance at this visit, that was it, and she blew it.  So,  we just continue to move forward with the adoption, and hope that her mom will be healthy enough to come to the open adoption visits in the future.

Precious baby L

On July 23rd, 2009 I was pulling into the parking lot of a local farm supply store, when my cell phone rang. It was dh, saying there was a call from dcfs, about a baby girl, 7 wks. old. After numerous other calls, and saying no to placements of so many, were we finally ready to take this little one into our hearts and home? I quickly called the sw back for more info. She said they had the baby at their office. Her mother was young, this was her first child. They had no idea what direction this case would go.  The sw called us even though we were only supposed to get calls for "foster adopt" situations, but this was clearly not that. I called dh back, and we had to make a fast decision, as this baby needed someone. At that moment, we both agreed, that yes, we would take her. I remember driving over to the dcfs office, wondering what this experience would be like. I waited in the waiting room, and two women came out carrying this little one in her car seat. I looked down at her, and immediately fell in love with her angelic face. I brought her home to dh, and we both looked at her and couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I remember one of the first times I held her in my arms, she looked up at me and smiled!! She was so aware, and so social, for such a young age. She hasn't stopped smiling since! She has brought so much joy. She is so loved by us all.

Today was another part of the roller coaster ride I've been on, but I think I stepped off today. Although, I still feel like I'm riding. As I was getting ready to head out to the relinquishment hearing, I got a call from the GAL. She had just heard from baby L's attorney who said that the relinquishment may not happen today, because baby L's mom had to go to another court hearing in another city on some criminal charges. She said she was supposed to meet with her at 1pm, but didn't think she would make it. I was advised not to go, as nothing would happen, but I decided to go anyway. When I drove up, I saw baby L's great grandmother, so I knew her bio mom must be there. Then I found out that the attorney presented her with the open adoption agreement and relinquishment right then and there and she signed it! Talk about waiting til the last minute, because the hearing was at 1:30. She has 48 hrs. to change her mind, but because the attorney is out this week, she has until next wed. to let someone know if she changes her mind. The sw said not to worry, because noone ever changes their mind, and if she did, it would mean termination trial, which would be worse for her anyway.
I also just found out that baby L's mom requested one last good-bye visit. She has made no effort to see her since before Christmas, but wants a good-bye visit, and she wants us to facilitate it. She doesn't want a social worker or transportation person like they usually have. When I told dh this, we both felt a sense of sadness. Although we are so glad things are finally moving in a positive direction toward permanancy for baby L and us, the thought of her mom having us bring her for a good-bye visit with us there is very bittersweet. I can't imagine it. I think partly because I cannot comprehend what her mom's life must be like. I cannot comprehend relinquishing a child. My heart would break into peices. And, my heart breaks for her. The good-bye visit seems like what so many that adopt an infant domestically might experience. There are so many emotions there, both happy, and sad. I really wish I had some sort of idea of what she is thinking, or going through right now.

On the flip side, I am so thankful, and grateful to God for this day! Baby L is such an amazing blessing to us. She walks around the house saying "hi momma" all the time now, and she loves hugs and kisses and snuggling up on my lap with her blankie. I can't imagine if things had gone the other way what we would all be going through. God is so good and so gracious. He has carried us through, and I have grown so much along this path. It's feels like a miracle.

Babies update!!!

The image above resembles the little ones in my house, both in diapers, both drinking their bottles, often tumbling around, giggling at each other, or pulling each other's hair, and this mommy has to break it up. Never thought I'd see the day I'd be breaking up fights between a 13 month old and 22 month old!

So, wednesday, April 13th is the day!!! I talked to baby L's social worker today, and although she continues to sound vague, she said that this wednesday, in court, there will be a hearing, establishing relinqishment. She said that this means the relinquishment will be final at the end of the hearing. So, unless I hear something tomorrow, the next day we will be attending this hearing. There is no way I would miss it. I need to hear for myself that it is actually happening, because it still doesn't seem real.

The baby girls are a handful! They are into everything, needing constant re-direction. We are exhausted! But, we are still so very thankful for them both, and I am in awe of God's hand in this entire process!

Hopefully wednesday I will have a positive update to share after the hearing! And...I believe my big girls are VERY overdue for an update of their own soon as well!