Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Part three!!!

SO very sorry to leave you all wondering what I will get right to it. I called bio mom, and she answered. I explained who I was, and she was very surprised. I explained that we are willing to offer yearly visits to them for both children. She stated, "Wow". I think it was much more than she expected. I feel at peace with this decision. She said she would be dropping her appeal as soon as possible. She is trying to get her boyfriend, the bio father to do the same, but based on his history, it will be a miracle if he drops it. He isn't the one dying to see his children. We really want to adopt these two together, so that it will be a special day for both of them, and I have always felt that way. If he doesn't drop his appeal on our fd, he may appeal all the way up the courts, which can take two years, and I really don't want bio mom to have to wait that long. The next step is for the dept. to call a meeting with all 4 of us "parents". We want to present our offer to them both, and the dept. will explain in person again why he needs to drop his appeal so we can get the adoptions finalized and they can have a visit. We are all hoping for a positive outcome, but have no idea how this dad will respond because he usually responds very negatively to anything that has to do with dshs, or the courts. Generally, he is not a happy camper. for the question we have all been waiting for. How did they find out who we were??? I did ask her over the phone, and I was praying I would get a straight answer. She was silent for a moment, so I was thinking that maybe she was trying to come up with some story, but she told the truth. She got our names and address off of a prescription diaper rash cream that was in the diaper bag and sent on one of the visits!! I know this is true because last Sept. when we went to Disneyland another foster mom watched her for us. She came down with an odd rash the day we were leaving. The foster parent took her in to see the Dr. for it the next day. She was prescribed a medicated cream, and unfortunately the foster parent then sent if off on her visit the next day. Now there is always a chance that we sent it in the bag accidentally the next week when we were back, but I am usually very careful about those things and rip off any identifying information before placing it in the diaper bags that are sent on visits with bios. So, anything can happen! You just never know, and I think if biological parents want the information bad enough, they will get it. It's not something that scares me from fostering, as I know God has all of this in His hands, and maybe, just maybe this all happened for a reason, and He is working His good out of it all. We can't predict the future, but we can pray that the outcome will be positive, and over time, having contact with these parents might just be what was supposed to happen anyway.  God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His plans are not our plans. Only time will tell as this story continues to unfold.

1 comment:

Teresa said...

I've heard of that happening before with prescription labels. One of our parents got our address off the child's Physical therapy consent because it had the address the service would be provided. We were fortunate that the Dad was kind and told me he saw it and gave me the advice to ask them not to share my information.

I think you are spot on with God having His hand in this set up. It really seems like everyone wins when your adoption process is sped up, Mom gets to see them once per year, and the children get permanency in their loving and safe family while maintaining a connection to their origin.

You handled that situation so perfectly.