I do remember the terrorist attacks...and many more random thoughts.

So many people ask if we remember 9-11. What were we doing that day? How did it affect us? How have we changed since then?

Yes, I do remember that day...I got up early to go in for my scheduled ultrasound, as I was 7 months pregnant with Miranda that day, only I wandered out into the living room, and turned on the t.v. which is something I never did. What I saw in front of me was shocking, and I was sort of in denial, thinking this can't be real.

Later I was lying on a table with DH by my side, looking into the screen at my soon to be daughter-we had just then found out we were having a girl (She would be born prematurely only 2 weeks after 9/11)! At the same time, I couldn't help but think of what was going on in New York, and what the world was going to be like afterward. I knew it would profoundly affect every American.

I remember going to church the Sunday after those terrorist attacks, and seeing this church literally filled to the max with standing room only out in the foyer and out the doors. I remember the pastor's message, and how much it made sense, that God knows, and he loves, and he cares, and yet we live in a fallen, sinful world, where evil occurs, and tragedies happen. I had secretly hoped the weeks following would bring as many people through doors of this church and thousands of other church's around the nation. But, slowly, the people stopped coming, maybe no longer feeling their need for God, and for answers? One sad reality in this nation called America, where we have such abundance, and many find it so hard to see why they would need the Lord.

I remember hearing someone speak on these attacks, and how we must always refer to 9/11 as the terrorist attacks, and how we must realize that these enemies had been trying to get our attention for a long, long time, through other smaller types of attacks in NY and elsewhere. I remember realizing that the evil one is roaming around seeking to kill and destroy...and that there will always be a battle against this evil in our world and that it would only get worse. I became keenly aware of that fact, and I see it in my Bible. So, I am not surprised, but more aware.

I remember my precious grandmother telling me, when I was about 12 years old that this would happen. Evil would increase. One way she explained things to me was that she said one day Halloween would be more popular than Christmas.I was utterly shocked at this statement, thinking that would never happen in my lifetime. I loved Christmas, and still do. Just this year I have become well aware that this is now the case. Halloween items are much more sought after than Christmas items now. Stores dedicate more and more space to Halloween merchandise than ever before and it is bigger than Christmas. Antique dealers look for vintage Halloween items over Christmas items because this is what sells. Halloween, and all the evil associated with it, has become more desirable than a holiday called Christmas, which is associated with holiness and love-the birth of Jesus. You were right, Grandma.

So, what I am trying to get across is this. I do remember, I became much more aware of the evil that is against us after 9-11-01, and I realize people are not moving closer to Jesus and goodness and holiness, but instead moving in the opposite direction. I also became so much more aware of this during the last presidential election. I was so saddened, but yet, not surprised, and realized that this is the way people are moving. I remember seeing our former president immediately after the terrorist attacks, and feeling so much warmth and admiration for him. Now, we have a president who has declared us no longer a christian nation, and who has motives many americans aren't even aware of. (or they are aware, but turning a blind eye, and instead of being concerned about how protected we are as a nation, many people were/are just hoping this president would help them financially).

And today, my almost 10 year old daughter is at a birthday party for her friend who turns 10 this day, who was born on the same day as the attacks on America. I pray for this younger generation, that we can raise them up with heightened awareness of the world around them. I pray that we can impart to them, the Godly wisdom we are asked to train them up with. I pray that our children will see their need for God, will follow Jesus, and will impact this world for Christ. This is my dream, and my highest calling as a mother, and my husbands highest calling as a father. Why live for things that are meaningless, or raise our children to be successful with riches? I would trade in any riches I have to live out my calling for God any day. I have experienced being in His will and in His presence and there is no comparison to material riches. To know that I am living a life where I am making a difference for His kingdom is more fulfilling than growing up, going to college and accumulating material items. I can tell you, the feeling you get from being in God's will doing His work is SO much better. My prayer is that I always feel my need for God, so I can live in a manner that my children will see, and then see their need for Him as well.

So, yes, I remember, and I am profoundly changed. And as I watch the coverage today, and the tears stream down my face as I remember those that lost their lives, and so many that were left behind and lost in such tragedy and devastation to their families, I remember this verse below, because I know what the enemy intended for evil, God can turn around for His good, and His glory:

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
Genesis 50:20