Sunday, September 20, 2009

This girl

has stolen my heart!!! I don't deserve to be her mommy. I don't deserve all the kisses, hugs, and sweet things she tells me, like, "I love you mommy", and "I missed you". She loves to help me, and cuddle on my lap, and go anywhere with me.

The other night I spent 4 hrs. in the ER with her. It was a time of great reflection. I remembered back to that first time she opened her eyes, and looked into mine as I held her. (Wasn't that just yesterday?) This journey is not always easy, as parenting never is. Recently she went through a phase of shouting "That not fair!" anytime something didn't go her way. It was actually quite comical to watch, but also concerning as I realized she is barely 3, and this can't be starting yet!! I remember the long nights in the hotel of screaming, in the days following our gotcha day in China. I remember many of nights of crying and screaming here at home as she appeared to be going through night terrors. I remember being worried for her. I now know to just pray...and I did...and she is okay.

This sweet one has been through a lot in her little lifetime. When I would find her screaming in the night I often wondered if the trauma of being abandoned and left alone was the source of the continued fear. I prayed over her and believed that God would heal it all-every little part of her that still hurts. I know she is fine, and I continue to pray that as her mother I will be able to give her all that she she has given me so much more than I could have ever imagined. Thank you Jesus!


Meredith Ivy said...

Thank you for your sweet and encouraging comment on my blog!

I love reading about families who have adopted so I am very eager to continue reading your blog.

Have a blessed new week~

Calico Sky said...

What a lovely lovely lovely post! I do hope Lilyann is ok re your trip to ER?

I know the Lord knitted you together for the perfect reason :)

Tammy ~ Country Girl at Home ~ said...

Oh Michelle, this post brought tears to my eyes! I know exactly how you feel! What a precious gift you've been given to raise! What a sweet post!

Thanks for this!